Pubes

(I'm trying to get back to some level of normal. I hope this helps.)

I’m not one averse to pubic hair. As a matter of fact I have seen a fair amount of pubic hair over the last month. Whatever, it’s part of the body, no big deal.

Yesterday was another rough day and I decided after my three-hour nap on the couch I would drink some beer and read the new Rolling Stone I got last Saturday.

I flipped to the summer movie preview by Peter Travers (I trust everything he writes about movies – most of the time) and then to the cover article questioning whether President Bush is the worst President ever. The answer is no, but close.

Then I thumbed through the rest of the magazine only to land on pg. 38 and the “King of Pain” feature about Nick Lachey. The first picture with this story was Mr. Lachey with his shirt off and pants drooping to expose the upper region of his pubic hair. Not cool.

I don’t want to see that and I’m sure no one really does. Then I thought what if this was a female, would I care as much? I’m not sure; probably not, but that’s only because I agree with Elaine Bennis’ character from Seinfeld.

(The Apology, 12/11/97)
Jerry: "Well, I was walking around naked in front of Melissa the other day--"
Elaine: "Whoa! Walking around naked? Ahh... that is not a good look for a man."
George: "Why not? It's a good look for a woman."
Elaine: "Well, the female body is a... work of art. The male body is utilitarian, it's for gettin' around, like a jeep."
Jerry: "So you don't think it's attractive?"
Elaine: "It's hideous. The hair, the... the lumpiness. It's simian."
George: "Well, some women like it."
Elaine: "Hmm. Sickies."

I didn’t finish the feature; actually I didn’t even start it. I’m not a 98 Degrees fan.

In the future I hope Mr. Lachey and other male celebrities think about Elaine’s words from Seinfeld. If we all can remember that the male figure is “simian” and “utilitarian” we can avoid unwanted pubic hair photos and live a more enlightened life.