Sunday, December 31, 2006

Happy New Year!


First of all, if you are going out anywhere to celebrate the passing of the old year, please be safe. There are crazy people out there!

Last night Dave and I were waiting outside of Spaceland (also known as Space Mountian, simply because I deemed it that) for Renee. Up rolls a super nice Infinity SUV. I thought it was odd and a little out of place. The doors open and the smell of marijuana wafted by. Dave and I look at each other to confirm who was standing in front of us. It was former Black Crowes lead singer, Chris Robinson. He looked so cool, and we both agreed that we were happy that he was rocking out a super sweet beard. I wish I could have a super sweet beard. Is it possible to make that a New Year's Resolution? My baby face will not allow for it, but if I try hard enough....oh well, I will fail.

Anyways, I felt bad for him because of his recent situations. But, besides the fact that he had a plethora of marginal weirdos approaching him, he and his six six irish/jewish/amish friend / bodyguardish acquaintance seemed to enjoy the Space Mountain.

The first band left a little to be desired. Namely, they should have appeared interested to be there. Oh yeah, they should also work some vocals into their set.

The other band, The Modern Canon was excellent. Their stage presentation left a lot to be desired, as they had three members on horns and brass, two drum sets, a fronting keyboard, bass, and acoustic guitar. They all were wearing pretty sweet suits. They lived up to their presence and were a fun band to watch. Good vocals and sound. I was really glad Dave took me out there.

Now, it is New Years Eve. There is a party out here for me to rock the house at. I am getting excited, especially for me kick ass new pants. Although, I haven't found the perfect shirt ensamble to go with it. That is nothing that a quick trip to Glendale can't fix. Oh yeah, I can take you for a real good meal in Glendale too. Whatever.

Be safe and happy everyone.

P.S. Andy you are not weak, so stop it.

Emotionally Weak and Unstable, but Content


Happy New Year everyone!

Today I was the most content I have been in quite some time. I was alone, in my parent’s house, with only Christmas lights on, watching the Wire season two, eating a corned beef sandwich the size of an obese man’s stomach and there were no interruptions.

Some might think that’s pathetic, but I can’t recall the last time I felt that good.

Of course there were some things that could have made it that much better, but for the most part that was the best I have felt. (I have had some great times in the last year and especially over the last few months, but today was real nice. I don’t mean to disparage any times I have had recently that were outstanding. I’m just saying today was real nice.)

Later that evening I was called weak both emotionally and mentally. Is that true? I would like honest responses, because it would lead to another New Year’s resolution.

Be safe today and tonight. Have a Happy New Year. 2007 is going to be a lot better than 2006. And if you had a great 2006, then 2007 will be the best year of your life.

Happy New Year! Best wishes in ’07!

Friday, December 29, 2006

201st.

Today I got depressed. I went shopping. Although I got a kick ass pair of jeans yesterday, I felt bloated today, and nothing fit. Excuse me if I sound like a little girl, but whatever.

I got depressed somewhere in between Express and Banana Republic. I almost cried.

There is an answer in the madness though. It is called Jamba Juice. Normally Jamba Juice would give me sanctity to all of my problems. (ask Mary, since I was afraid to check my email for the past two days) Today it gave me extra solstice, since it was discovered that simply adding vodka would make an instant daquari. Genius.

Saddam Huissain is going to be executed in minutes. I won't believe it until I see it. I think it is a conspiracy. I have seen too many episodes of Prison Break.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Good Times, Bad Times 2006 had its Share

My baby takes the morning train, he works from nine to five and then he takes another home again, to find me waiting for him.

That’s right I’m listening to Sheena Easton. I feel good about it too. Except I don’t have a baby I’m waiting for and if I did it wouldn’t be a “he”, it’d definitely be a she…or maybe a he…but definitely a she.

Damn, Sheena Easton headlined the Blog Alliance’s 200th post. Good for her, it may be her biggest accomplishment.

Was that mean?

Yes. I love you Sheena!

Well this is the last Wednesday post of 2006 (for me). JC pointed out it’s been a rough year for many people. The Carducci family had to deal with the worst possible thing a family could have happen. I know they have been in everybody’s prayers and thoughts this holiday season.

There were good things too. Chris and Katherine were wed in holy matrimony in June and then Matt and Nicole in August. Those were the best of times.

Some other stuff happened this year too. JC returned from Texas. Emily started law school. Matt Q. took a job in Colorado. My dad is now an AP, not an AP stats teacher. JC got a new job. I got a cat. Then some other stuff happened too.

Jason Kidd is NOT a great basketball player. He is a whiner who hit his wife and contributed to his two year old son’s separated shoulder a couple years back. Now he is crying about losing to the Pistons last night. First of all a team six games under .500 and still in first place should say nothing after a loss or a win. Secondly, the Nets made as many free throws as the Pistons shot, 28/37 v. 25/28 and the Pistons won 92-91. Maybe somewhere during the game New Jersey could have hit another free throw to send the game into overtime. Finally, Vince Carter threw his off elbow into ‘Sheed, therefore it should have been a foul on Carter on the last play of the game.

I also heard on ESPN the Central Michigan Chips have two wins at Ford Field this year…the same as the Detroit Lions. Congrats to the Chips. A ten-win season is impressive and I’ve got a LeFevour and the only prescription is more ten-win seasons.

My six degrees of ITunes separation led me to the Spongetones, Bears and the Double. Some good new music I haven’t heard. I also found Splitsville (of whom I have heard), in which the ITunes catalog has every album. Sweet.

I’m sorry if I’m self-absorbed. That will be one of my New Year’s resolutions. The other will be to lower my cholesterol as well as be a better person. I know that last one is very vague, but that’s also one of my New Year’s resolutions…I’m starting early with that one. I figure if I’m not specific I can always change my mind and then never “lose.” I learned that from Rummy and the Bush Administration.

I will also dedicate a blog to anxiolytics, SSRIs and dexadrine salts.

Happy New Year! Be safe and have an awesome 2007. I plan on having one.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

End of the Year

This year has been a terrible year for some.......namely AZ and JC. We are both looking forward to 2007, and some major changes in mindset and reality.

Last night was a wonderful celebration. It was a Monroe night of epic proportions. I usually don't have too much fun at M-Town bars, but that was not the case last night. There were a lot of familiar faces and some not-so-familiar faces, which were nice to see as well.

My new years resolution is to become less abrasive, more social, and more likable. Good luck to me. Those are some lofty ambitions.

It was especially good to see (in no particular order) Mary, Danielle, Emily, Andy, Lindsay (until "the incident"), Jacob, Kohler, Kirby, Morgan, Mandy, Sarah, Alia, and DJ. If I didn't name you and it was good to see you, I apologize. It is all a little hazy.

I wanted to issue a public apology to Lindsay for blowing up on her. I should have just licked the beer off of my sweatshirt and pants. Sorry I am abrasive and immature.

I hope those of you who went to Denny's received a hearty stomach ache. (Just kidding).

Thank you Alia for making your basement available. You are definately the hostess with the mostest. Thanks for kicking me to awaken me when I was drifting.

I hope that everyone had as much fun as I did. I got home and in bed by 5:30am. My mom was just getting up. I slept until 9, when my brother was hacking up his life in the bathroom commode. I got up and tended to his tonsilitis by taking him to the urgent care. He could breathe. I was tired, but could breathe, so I was a good person.

I hope that everyone out there has a very Merry Christmas and safe holidays!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

The Lost Files

Disclaimer - I wrote this while I was in the on-call room Friday morning. I never got to post it. Now here it is. Sorry for the delay.

Ain’t it a shame to go fishing on a Sunday, ain’t it a shame.

I’m here at Henry Ford Wyandotte Hospital at 1.00 am. I have not been in my bed this week. Every night I’m at one of three hospitals, Oakwood Southshore, Oakwood Main Campus or Wyandotte. This week there has been two C-sections, five vaginal births, one woman still in labor (I’m waiting for her to delivery, she’s at 4/90/-1, if anyone cares…you don’t), and one twin birth. I’m exhausted. The 80-hour workweek implemented by the Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education does not apply to attendings or medical students, only residents and interns. So, since Sunday, I have worked near 80 hours and I’m on a 36-hour call shift. I have a decent break right now.

I miss JC and Chris. Sorry, I didn’t get back with you JC. I’ll see one tomorrow, both over the next week or so of vacation and then one on New Years. You all can guess which one I’ll see on those two dates. It’ll be a fun little game.

I don’t have much to say because I haven’t done much. I wanted to talk about Spartan football recruiting, but I haven’t read much about them recently.

I think it would be easy to hook up in the on-call rooms. I’m in one right now, but no girl. I guess I could hook up with myself, but I am the master of my domain…king of the castle…

Every paragraph has started with I. I’m either self-centered or not very creative. Or both.

The YouTube skit Jacob emailed caused quite a stir with the replies. I wish I would have joined in on the fun.

That paragraph didn’t start with I. It started with the.

Does anyone remember Coon Eyes? Who’s Dick Waters?

Is it okay to like that Ok Go song?

I wish Marines would stop killing Iraqi civilians. If I were in the armed forces, I might make that my New Year’s resolution.

Medications for mental disorders are “dirty” drugs. They have many adverse effects and there is no better example of “dirty” drugs than those used to treat schizophrenia. In the past medications labeled as “typical” neuroleptics, such as haloperidol, only treated positive symptoms of schizophrenia, i.e., hallucinations, and caused serious adverse reactions from the potentially fatal neuroleptic malignant syndrome (NMS) to the socially debilitating tardive dyskinesia (TD). Pharmaceutical companies then began to develop medications to treat both positive and negative symptoms of schizophrenia. These new medications fell into the realm of “atypical” neuroleptics. They were touted as a more efficacious medication compared to the “typicals” and did not cause the severe adverse reactions, such as NMS and TD. However, these treatments have some very serious side effects. Clozapine can cause agranulocytosis, a condition in which there is a decrease in WBC and thus a patient cannot effectively fight off a bacterial infection. Another medication, olanzapine (Zyprexa), has been verified to increase an individual’s risk of metabolic syndrome, particularly elevated glucose levels. Recently the New York Times acquired internal memos from the company Eli Lily stating Zyprexa increased the risk of hyperglycemia (elevated glucose/sugar) by 3.5 times that of a placebo. However, when Eli Lily presented the data to physicians they explained there was only a mildly elevated risk of increasing one’s blood sugar. It’s bad enough to focus schizophrenia treatment solely on pharmaceutical remedies, let alone lie about the medications side effects. The federal government (other than the Food and Drug Administration), or a private independent agency, should audit pharmaceutical companies in a manner that eliminates the ability to “juke the stats.” I doubt this Zyprexa incident will cause as big of a stir as the COX-2/Vioxx debate, but it just adds fuel to the fire that big Pharma has too much political power, manipulates research and attempts to falsely influence physicians.

Did that last long paragraph make any sense? It’s late. I don’t think it did.

Well she’s 8/90/-1. Time to go.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I hope....

I hope AZ posts a classic blog soon. I miss him.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

My 40 hours

I got to be home for roughly 40 hours. I had a horrific trip home from Oklahoma. I could care less if I ever step foot in that state again. It all went down something like this.....

I called the night before my flight, to try to get on an earlier flight. There was a Christmas party to be attended, and I needed time to prepare. (Thanks again Em, it was absolutely AWESOME!)

I was told by the customer service agent that standby flights are available for confirmation three hours befroe the flight. She told me that there was a flight at 6 and a flight at 6:35 that were avilable. We talked about options and it was agreed that I need to get up and call at 3am. Sure, that is early, but to get home, it was worth it.

I awoke at 2:45 to collect myself and call customer service again. She said there were a few seats available on the 6 and 6:35, so I went to the airport. I took my rental car back and was excited to get on my way out of OK. I got to the airport at 4 something. There was no ticket agent yet. The line was forming for people to check in for the 6am flight. The agent got there and promptly announced that the 6am flight was cancelled. A clusterfuck ensued. I called customer service while standind in line and confirmed a seat on the 6:35 flight. When it was my turn to check baggage, the ticket counter lady told me that I was flying standby and I couldn't check baggage. First of all, this is a lie, since I did it a few weeks ago at Laguardia. Regardless, she gave me a hard time and wouldn't let me check in. She told me she could check my bags for my 11:40 flight so I wouldn't have to lug them around. That was nice of her....NO! She wouldn't listen to the fact that I HAD a seat on the 6:35 flight. She made me wait while she figured out the rerouting of all of the 6am flight people. Finally, around 8, there was no one around the counter. I tried to get rid of my bags, as the lady suggested.

I approached the counter and the agent tried to check my baggage. She was having a problem. She then told me that I had a seat on the 6:35 flight and missed my flight. I almost (and don't know how I didn't) flipped out. To make matters worse, my original flight was now full. She blamed me for not having a flight and didn't know what she could do for me to get home. I reminded her of the scenario earlier. She still denied blame. i asked for her boss. I calmly explained the situation, and under pressure from her boss (and fear for her job) she admitted she made a mistake. It took nearly another two hours to find a flight for me. Everything was booked. I ended up flying to Chicago on American Airlines and to Lansing on United. I assumed that there was no way in hell that my luggage was going to be with me when I arrived. Finally, good things were abound when my bags were the first ones off of the conveyor.

I headed home, ironed, showered, tied my tie, and was off with my two dates for the evening.

(I apologize for the length of this post, so I will start speeding this story up).

The surf and turf was amazing, especially after I switched steaks with Em, so I could have the bloodier one. The lobster was ridiculous. The booze was flowing and everyone was beautiful, especially a few certain individuals. It was a ridiculously fun evening. We went home, went on a wild goose chase, and retired on the L.

We awoke to watch shitty TV and lazily lie on the couch until I had to go to my meeting at 1:30. After that, there was more laziness until around 6, when El Azteco was calling our names. In between there, the Back to the Future marathon was not as good as one might think.

It was then off to L&H (which I have not stepped foot in in months) for some tasty and energetic libations. We bumped into a few girls from the party the previous night. I then felt bad for calling one of them "gorilla arms". Despite her overly hairy appendages, she is a beautiful, although tall, girl. Then, it was off to Woodys. I swore I would not get drunk, since I had to fly out to Boston today. I lied to myself. I didn't think I was too drunk, until I woke up at 4am and vomited. (It had certainly been a while for that).

If you happened to watch the MSU basketball game last night, you probably wanted to kill yourself. If you were able to hear SNL last night, it was probably much funnier than I think, since I read comedy through closed captioning made possible by shitty bar music.

Now, I am exhausted, at the airport, bored, headachy, defeated.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Four Classic Quarters, but it Took Two Games

Today ESPN Classic is replaying the twelve classic games of the 2006 college football season.

Michigan State University will appear twice in this Classic marathon: the Northwestern game will air at 2.00 pm and then the Notre Dame collapse at 8.00 pm.

I will be out Christmas shopping and doing errands throughout the day, but if I were just sitting around watching TV today I’d make sure to watch the fourth quarter of the Northwestern game and the first three quarters of the Notre Dame game.

Hey, that’s four quarters; a complete game if one adds the two. Is that the only time the Spartans put four quarters together under John L. Smith? Probably, and it only took two games separated by four weeks.

As for current Michigan State football news, after this weekend I’ll update all the new recruiting news out of East Lansing…and there are a lot of interesting and positive things going down under new coach Mark Dantonio.

And if no one wants to hear about Michigan State football, let me know and I’ll shut up.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Third Time Today

So here it is: the third useless post of the day. And this one is actually useless; JC’s had relevance to actual news events.

The Downriver Innominates (my fantasy football team) is in the Muskrat Football League (MFL) Championship game!

Last weekend I went up 88-69 over Kurt Roecker’s Bucks Still Rule III heading into the Monday night match up between the Bears and Rams. Tory Holt (Kurt’s second receiver) ended up having an excellent game: 76 yards and two touchdowns for a total of 19 points. That gave the Bucks Still Rule III 88 and thus our game ended in a tie. That’s right the MFL semifinal game was a tie.

However, because Kurt’s bench had scored more points than my bench, thanks to Drew Brees’ five-touchdown performance, I lost the tiebreaker and was relegated to the third place game.

Today as a dejected and disinterested GM/coach I went to enter my line-up and unbeknownst to me the Downriver Innominates received a score correction and bumped my total to 89 points. The Innominates won, 89-88, and my team is now in the championship game.

Last year I was teased a lot because my team, the Ligers, was awful. I did not get to draft my own team and had to sculpt it through free agency. My best move, acquiring Larry Johnson, providing a couple of victories but that was it. This year I was able to personally draft my team and then made two sound moves through free agency by picking up the Baltimore Ravens defense as well as Phillip Rivers.

Sometimes fantasy football mirrors real life (that’s a pathetic start to a sentence) and my Innominates had a Spartanesque season. I started off 7-1, only to lose three of my last four games going into the playoffs. My kids rebounded and now have reached the MFL championship game. The kids played their tails off and the coaches did not screw it up.

After a 2-10 record last year, I have reversed my fortunes and I’m now 10-4. I think I deserve coach of the year honors.

So this weekend everyone should root for Phillip Rivers, Larry Johnson, Julius Jones, Reggie Wayne, Plaxico Burress, Ben Watson, the Baltimore Ravens defense and Adam Vinetari. And root against LaDanian Tomlinson.

In other news, the head coach/GM of the Downriver Innominates has no life.

Two worthless posts in one day!

I am bored of Oklahoma and I can't come back early. So, I search the internet for worthless, yet interesting news stories. Earlier today, you got your legal fill, after learning that it is illegal to melt your pocket change.

Now, for all you Tigers fans, something that will easy your worries about a young pitching superstar....


The Tigers are satisfied they won't see a recurrence of the right wrist and forearm inflammation that sidelined Joel Zumaya for three games of the American League Championship Series. Why? Club president and general manager Dave Dombrowski told WXYT-AM (1270) on Wednesday the team had concluded Zumaya's injury resulted from playing a video game, not from his powerful throwing motion, according to the DETROIT FREE PRESS.

"That was probably what was taking place," Dombrowski later told the Free Press.

Zumaya, 22, was known to play "Guitar Hero," a PlayStation 2 game in which a player uses a guitar-shaped controller to simulate the performance of popular songs.

During the radio interview, Dombrowski said the Tigers' athletic training staff discovered that Zumaya's forearm pain was more consistent with the action of a guitar player than a baseball pitcher. The Tigers asked Zumaya to stop playing the video game, and he did. Zumaya then pitched pain-free during the World Series, and went 0-1 with a 3.00 ERA in three appearances.



Well isn't that flipping dandy. (by the way, this is taken directly from FOXSports.com - check it out at FOXSports - Ben Maller)

What CAN you do?

I am not sure, but I now know what you can not do. Apparently, you can not melt that jar full of coinage that you keep in your room. The U.S. Mint has implemented a law against melting down pennies and nickels which, at current metal prices, could be worth more as metal than as currency. I think this is ridiculous. Does this speak volumes about our economy? I don't think so. It is ironic though.

The government will slap fines of up to $10,000, or imprisonment of up to five years, or both, against violators.

"We are taking this action because the nation needs its coinage for commerce,"

"We don't want to see our pennies and nickels melted down so a few individuals can take advantage of the American taxpayer. Replacing these coins would be an enormous cost to taxpayers."


I didn't know this was big business. They make it sound like the owners of Coinstar machines are turning the coins around in a metal foundry somewhere. A penny and nickle chop shop. What a ridiculous story.

The rule also bans the exportation of the coins, beyond traveling with $5 worth and shipping up to $100 for legitimate purposes. So, this means if you are planning to go abroad to buy drugs or prostitutes, you can not pay with US coinage. There goes my winter vacation plans!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Sleep Deprivation and My New Dance

Ritalin is easy, Ritalin is good. Even all the ones who watered down the daughter.

Ritalin fits into the melody a lot better than methylphenidate. Methylphenidate is easy, methylphenidate is good…

My MySpace blog about Minus Grover had a positive response. It seems a reunion may be in order and yes you can fourth a motion. What about an anniversary of Merrittstock?

As of Monday 12/11/06 the death toll of American soldiers in Iraq was 2,919.

The Prime Minister of Iran sponsored a conference for individuals who believe the Holocaust was a hoax. What a fucking idiot and anyone who believes that is a fucking idiot too.

I swear a lot, but cutting back on my swearing will not be one of my New Year’s Resolutions this year.

I think pantaloon, cantaloupe and jackalobe would be cousins if words were people. I was also thinking of starting a new dancing phenomenon called “the cantaloupe” or “the jackalobe.” First, I’d limp to the side like my leg was broken…oh wait, that’s already been done.

Sometimes I think religion is like the Force in Star Wars. Then I remember I like Star Wars.

USA Today reported on a study recently done in the Public Library of Science Medicine concerning intern and resident work hours. In 2003 resident work hours were restricted from 120 hours/week to 80 hours/week. The study apparently found when residents/interns work “marathon” 30 hour shifts five or more times in a month the risk of medical mistakes increased by 700% and the risk of killing a patient increased by 300%. Those are staggering numbers, however, I am not a proponent of lower the work hours to less than 80/week. First, for a medication error to occur (medication errors have largely been implicated in sleep deprived residents), the resident must write the wrong order, the nurse must send the order to the pharmacy, the pharmacy must then fill the wrong order and then the nurse then must administer the wrong medication. Ultimately the liability falls on the physician, but there are plenty of opportunities for someone to speak up and say, “Hey this doesn’t sound right.” Secondly, decreasing the number of hours allowed to work in a day disrupts patient continuity and switching physicians so frequently can lead to errors as well. Sleep deprivation and the errors that ensue are unfortunate, but cutting back hours also limits the clinical experiences physicians-in-training need to become competent in their respective fields. This is especially true in the surgical specialties. I’m sure if your appendix ruptured you would not want a third year resident to perform the surgery when he/she has not had several previous surgeries from which to learn. Moreover, physicians in the past worked these long hours and there never was a huge uproar about medical errors. Now, due to more awareness and studies, research has verified sleep deprivation may lead to medical errors. Perhaps today’s residents/interns are less intelligent than physicians in the past and thus, it is not the sleep deprivation leading to medication errors, but rather physicians who are not as smart.

Sloan will be at St. Andrew’s on Saturday January 20, 2007. Don’t make plans for that day, unless your plans are to go to see Sloan and hangout in Detroit. Then, make those plans.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Desolation and Depression

Ok, maybe not so much the depression part. Desolation definately.

I am staying in downtown Tulsa for the rest of the week. Big mistake. There is nothing going on here, nothing to do, and nothing to eat. Good, since I probably should never eat again.

Staying downtown in cities is supposed to be convenient. You are close to where you have to work. There are supposed to be places around you, in a self-supporting role to visitors of your downtown.

I just walked about 16 blocks, pretty much all of downtown Tulsa. I saw three people. I saw five cars on the road. Every single restaurant I passed by was closed. All of their hours were 11-2, Monday through Friday. Apparently this city is only alive for 9-5 business. It is garbage. I guess room service will have to suffice, since going to the lounge would mean I would drink. I don't want to drink.

Of the three people I saw, one gentleman approached me. He was very clean cut and from Indiana. He was a Notre Dame grad. He likes Michigan State, or so he says. He locked his keys in his car. A locksmith came, and he was short on cash. He said the locksmith was swearing at him, dropping some N-bombs in true Oklahomian red-neck fashion. Guess who came to the rescue? Me. He said he needed $13. I only had a $20. He wrote my name down and my phone number down. He said he would call me and get my address to send me the $20 when he gets back to South Bend. Strangely, I believe him. Even if he doesn't, and he was telling the truth, I will gladly give up $20 to help someone out, especially if they are being subjected to racial slurs and intimidation.

This is the second time in a week that I have given money to strangers. I was Christmas shopping with Caleb on Sunday and a lady approached us with a sob story, going the full nine yards and bawling. By the off chance that she was telling the truth and needed the money for gas to reach her daughter in Fort Wayne, she needed my $13 more than I did.

Hey, isn't it weird? The guy from Indiana needed $13, he got $20. The lady needed to get to Indiana and got $13. What is up with people from Indiana being in need? Whatever.

On to another topic. I used 1,680 text messages last month along with 660 minutes. That amounts to 56 texts per day and 22 minutes of talking per day. Today my phone has not rung or been messaged. That is skewing the averages. It is ok everyone, because I don't like me either.

Steal My Pens? F**k You

I hope you enjoy the pen you stole out of my Essentials of Obstetrics and Gynecology book. I was using it as a bookmark so you obviously had to open it up to take the pen. It was on page 197, the management of chronic hypertension in pregnancy. It’s a great pen, so I hope you really enjoy it.

By the way, it was very classy to steal a pen out of my book, but it was dumb because it was a pen from Henry Ford Hospital that stated, “I got my flu shot at HFH.” However, because you are a nurse at a different hospital, I highly doubt you received a pen for a flu shot at Henry Ford.

Hey, that is my Henry Ford Hospital fight against breast cancer pen. I got that at the Sladen library, in which I am sure you have never visited. Hey, that is my highlighter too. Oh, what’s that? You thought they were yours? Interesting because you left my book open from where the highlighter clearly was left. Again, I was highlighting the management of chronic hypertension during pregnancy.

Where is my cell phone? In a drawer? Why? They are not allowed on the OB Unit? You didn’t say anything when my attending was talking on the cell phone or when another attending was chatting to his wife. You see my attending is calling me about a woman at another hospital in labor and you hung up the phone while I was trying to talk to him.

To sum up: the nurses on this OB Unit stole two pens of mine and a highlighter I was using to bookmark the chapter I was reading in my OB/GYN book; placed my cell phone in a drawer because they are not allowed in the OB Unit (with some qualifications I guess); hung up the phone while I was trying to talk to my attending about another patient and then yelled (literally) at me for answering my phone when he called. The stealing of the pens and hiding of the cell phone occurred while I was assisting a delivery and the cell phone incident occurred while I was writing the delivery note.

You see, I’m a medical student and henceforth some nurses believe they are superior and can treat me like shit. I will sound like an ass here, but while the nurses have much more clinical experience than me, they are nowhere near my level of medical education. Moreover, no one should ever treat anyone in a demeaning manner. If I were an intern and a nurse talked to me like that, his/her ass would be in serious trouble…and he/she probably would not have the nerve to act like that to a doctor.

Nurses always say to physicians, “Treat us well or we can make your life hell.” But the problem is many nurses have surly attitudes and believe they know as much or more than a physician. They don’t. They are smart, hard working and underappreciated, but in no way near a physician.

So any nurse who believes they have the right to treat medical students in this fashion, go fuck yourself. And if you do it again, I may just say that to you.

Monday, December 11, 2006

The next great debate

After watching some of the Lions game yesterday, I decided to start thinking about the future. That already puts me one step ahead of William Clay Ford and Matt Millen.

It is obvious that the Lions are going to get the first pick in the NFL draft this year. No other team is competing for this spot with such fervor.

Detroit's track record on draft day is less than spectacular. In the last five years, the Lions have made an attempt to revamp the offense and find some semblance of a "system". Notables drafted high in Detroit are: Mike Williams - not playing. Kevin Jones - doing what he can, but not an impact. Charles Rodgers - no longer with the team. Joey Harrington - no longer with the team. I can only imagine what other moves could have been made at the time. The only seemingly successful move was Roy Williams.

With Jon Kitna at the helm, the Lions are almost as helpless, if not more than they were with Joey Harrington. The off-season of the Lions, with respect to Quarterbacks was ridiculous. Joey gone. Shaun King picked up. Josh McCown picked up. Jon Kitna picked up. Shaun King released. Dan Orvlovski resigned. The way I see it is that Jon Kitna is not going to lead this team anywhere. Personally, I don't see either McCown or Orvlovski doing it either.

The NFL Draft is approcahing sooner than you think. There are two top quarterbacks available. Should the Lions draft for their future at this position? I say dump some of the baggage that you already have at that position and bring in some hot new talent.

If you agree, will it be Brady Quinn of Notre Dame or Troy Smith of Ohio State?
Personally, I like Troy Smith better. I like a quarterback with athleticism and the ability to make plays. I liked Vince Young and I like Troy Smith. Yes, he will have to adjust from the shotgun to a conventional snap. Yes, he is a little short. But, he has undeniable ability and heart.

Brady Quinn is pressure tested and in a vaible "system". He could be a great pro, but he also could be a bust. I am not completely sold on him.

This is only the beginning of NFL Draft debates in the upcoming month. Just wanted to throw itout there, for those of you who srill painfully follow the Lions.

Airport Insanity

I fly quite a bit. I guess it comes with the territory of a marginal job. I don't mond flying, in fact, most of the time I like it. Most of the time, I am prepared and can whiz through the lines, with no problems. The exeptions in my lifetime have been Houston Bush International Airport and Boston Logan Airport. Those two I have good luck with. It has nothing to do with the size of those airports because I am just fine with Dallas Fort Worth, Detroit, and Los Angeles International. Ok, the roundabout point I am getting at is coming up......

The TSA is testing a program that will allow non-passengers to wait at the gates for their family and friends to deplane their flights. The test program is going on in Dallas and Detroit. For now, the TSA is allowing only hotel guests at those airports to go to the gates without tickets to wait for loved ones. Of course, they have to go through security and all that jazz. What that means to the regular traveller is that your security lines will be longer and your wait time will be greater.

The goal of the new program, will be to relax post 9/11 restrictions, and allow family and friends the opportunity to meet their parties at the gate. Oh yeah, there is a little underlying ulterior motive that the TSA mentioned. It will allow these unticketed passengers access to the airport's concessions located inside the security area.

The love of money makes people do crazy things. I am perfectly happy with the way things are right now. I feel safe and secure every time I am at an airport. I don't think I should have to arrive any earlier at an airport to wait in line at the security screening just so you can see your family and friends ten minutes before you could have in the baggage claim area. It is piss poor.

The larger concern that I have is that when you relax one thing from the post 9/11 stranglehold that is security you will start to relax other things. Eventually, it will be ridiculous again, and we will see another tragedy. If it is not broke, don't fix it.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Weekend in review

This weekend was much different than the last. The last one was ridiculous and ended up being negative. This weekend started out ridiculously, but it ended up very well.

I was heading down to my parents' house to visit. First, I had happy hout to contend with. There was a decent showing of work folk, with my boy DShep coming back in an alumni appearance. We started out (and I thought finishing off at BW3 in Novi). It turned out to be a primer for the night. Some people had other obligations, and I was planning on going home early. That didn't happen.

It was off to this other place (I can't remember the name), still with a good crowd in hand. The shenanigans ensued. What do you get when you cross one guy and his girlfriend, four single guys, a lot of booze, and a bored waitress. I already said it....shenanigans.

One of the guys had something to prove. He pounced on two single girls as they entered the bar and sat down. That is not my approach, so I sat back and let it unfold in front of me. Well, as I would have guessed, nothing unfolded. He then proceeded to say that they are crazy and probably lesbians. It was funny, but untrue.

Then, there was a bed. DShep bet the failed gentleman that those two girls would be at our table by the end of the night. I didn't care either way, because neither one really piqued my interest. DShep worked his magic. He is very charismatic. In no time they were at our table. The one girl there was interested in DShep. The other seemed uninterested in anything. As some time went by, I was beginning to wonder if she really was a lesbian. Then I realized that the problem was not her sexual orientation, it was me not trying.

It hit me, and I decided to be a little more forward and outgoing. In a matter of seconds, everyone was wowed to the fact that she certainly didn't act like a lesbian anymore. In fact she was nice. Really nice. A pre-school teacher to boot. She threw out signal after signal and even the obligatory hand on the leg. How cute!
Anyways, when they finally turned on the lights and kicked us out of the bar, we took our respective lady friends home. I would like to have a huge crazy story about how the night ended, but I am not ready for all of that in my life yet. God darn Rachelle has still ruined my life in that respect. Soon though. Soon.

I then (in not the best judgement I have ever used) drove to my parents' house at 3AM. I wasn't too bad alcohol wise, but I was exhausted and falling asleep on the road. At one point, there was something huge in the road on 275, and I didn't see it (because I was sleeping) until it was too late. I ran over it (I think it wa a big concrete chunk, or something). I was waiting for my car to break down or the tires to deflate. They didn't. I made it home at 3:40. Much to my surprise, my mom was up on her computer. So, instead of sneaking in and catching some zzz'z on the couch, I went and talked to her for an hour and a half. All the while smelling of stale beer and cigarettes.

My sister and her husband were there, so I was awoken at 8:15. I was not happy yesterday, until the Spartans started to play well against the Cougars. I then proceded to go to sleep shortly after nine.

There are a few morals to my story. One, that there are still good looking girls out there who like fat kids, if the fat kids are nice to them. Two, that I am almost over anything and everything about my former relationship. Three, with that in mind, is there going to be some man-whoring? Four, no, I am too old for that. Five, I had fun, but not so much fun that I can't go to work on Monday, like last week. Six, I wasn't retarted and mean to anyone. Seven, I am shutting the f*^k up right now.

Friday, December 08, 2006

As a suppliment to Funday Friday

Would anyone be interested in attending some college basketball at the Palace tomorrow? The fourth-annual Spartan Clash is coming to Auburn Hills. There is a women's game v. Hartford at noon and the men's game v. BYU at 3:00. I think it would be fun times to see either one or both of the games. Even if you aren't a spartan fan, it would be fun.
One ticket gets you in to both games.

If anyone is interested, text me or something, and I will get some tickets.

Again, I stress.......word to your mother.

Friday Funday

Hello World,

Today is Friday. To me that traslates into a much needed segway into the weekend. It has been a rough week, to say the least. I don't know how I can say that, since I did not go to work on Monday, went in two hours late on Wednesday, and had a holiday luncheon yesterday. Still, it feels like a long week.

It is Friday, and my sister and her husband are in town. I should go to M-Town and see them this weekend, since I leave Monday morning on back to back trips for work. There is only one problem with this. They are staying at my parents' house. Let's do the math. Two parents plus one brother plus one sister plus one brother-in law plus three cats equals Jon no way in hell sleeping there.

I already have a happy hour obligation, but am seeking more. It is Friday funday. So, if no one has any plans, we should probably make them. Oh yes, and I am too far removed from examination schedules to know when they are or anything about them, so if you have them, good luck. If you had them, I hope they went well.

Word up and rock the house.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Scrub Wars

God it’s so painful, something that’s so close, but still so far out of reach.

I don’t get the hospitals and their scrubs policies. I have been to four different centers and three hospitals and every place I go I get yelled at for not wearing the right color scrubs. For example, I rounded on a patient at Wyandotte and then headed to Oakwood Main in Dearborn. Apparently my baby blue scrubs from Wyandotte were not kosher at Oakwood and I had to change into dark purple scrubs. I guess this is like hospital gang fights; if you got the wrong colors on, you gonna get popped yo…er something.

Didn’t the Offspring have a song about gang colors? Come Out and Play I think said something about a kid getting wasted because he wasn’t wearing the right colors.

Remember the Offspring? I do. They were okay for a couple of years.

There doesn’t seem to be the same outrage this year with retailers deciding to say “Happy Holidays” in place of “Merry Christmas.” That’s good, because either greeting shouldn’t cause anyone that much strife or grief.

I enjoy my new cell phone and I still enjoy Diet Mountain Dew. I don’t enjoy dropping my phone in my diet soda though.

Raymar Morgan, the Spartans star freshman small forward, is out for at least one game with stress fractures in his tibia, a.k.a. shin splints. Michigan State will struggle without Morgan on the court. He has shown the ability to drive to the basket, defend a team’s 2, 3 or 4 and has developed solid rebounding skills. Hopefully he only misses one game.

I know Emily is taking finals this week and I’m sure Chris is either taking them or getting ready to. Good luck to you both. One is just beginning law school; the other is nearing the end. I guess that’s just how the crazy circle of law school is.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end. Profound, Semisonic. Profound indeed.

Remember Semisonic? I do. They sucked.

The season finale of the Wire is this Sunday. It has been the best season in the series’ four years on HBO. I’m looking forward to the climax, but I don’t want to wait a year or a year and a half for another season.

The Iraq Panel apparently has said changes need to be made. Now Time and Newsweek are asking if President Bush will listen and make the recommended changes. I’m guessing he won’t. But, hey it could happen. McWorld!

If you’re reading this you should have read McWorld as someone screaming it, like the old McDonalds commercials.

That was a stupid sentence.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Please excuse my absence

Dear Alliance readers,

Please excuse my absence for the past several days. I would like to say that I have been busy, and to some extent I have been. I have been busy making bad life decisions. I have been doing this for a while.

We all go through it from time to time. We feel lost and helpless. I can identify the root of my problem, but just can not eliminate it. Perhaps it is because the problem is virtually ghost. It is virtually non-existant, and invisible to the naked eye. It is an intangible problem, that just will not allow a solution. It is frustrating, exhausting, and everywhere that I look, even in my dreams.

I want to find myself, to reinvent myself. To find and strengthen exactly what it is to be me. My job does not make me overly unhappy, but it does hinder my ability to attain my goals. My job performace has struggled as of late, seemingly because I can not focus. I am haunted by something, and myself. I want to quit my job and find happiness. I am scared of security for myself, and of things that are new. What if I can't find anything else? What if I am just stuck? What if these realizations bind me to my current situation?

I am terrified of the future and even more so of the past. Is this any way to live your life? I think not. What is a guy to do though?

I will try to regain some fascade of normalcy and return to being a member of the best blogging experience in the world - The Blog Alliance.

Stay tuned.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Sunday is the New Wednesday, but Still Sunday

The bottom of the swimming pool, being there must fucking rule. Yeah.

Boredom has overcome me and I didn’t write anything on Wednesday. I did however; douche you all with three posts on Friday. Those probably were not needed and certainly the last one was too long and silly. I have two presentations to work on and reading to get done, but I think the Blog Alliance is much more important right now.

Apparently I renounced Satan yesterday. I think that may have been a good move.

Last night I stayed in and fell asleep watching Home Alone. I think I’m about two steps away from becoming the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.

Florida or U of M in the national championship game? I don’t care, but I think Florida fans will riot if they don’t get to go. And they won’t.

The New York Times reported Donald Rumsfeld had submitted a classified memo to the Bush Administration stating the current course in Iraq was not working and the administration should launch a campaign to lower public expectations about the war. Rumsfled wrote, “Announce that whatever new approach the U.S. decides on, the U.S. is doing so on a trial basis. This will give us the ability to readjust and move to another course, if necessary, and therefore not ‘lose.’ ” Isn’t that kinda like flip-flopping?

I’ve imported a lot of new music into my ITunes and sometimes I’m not even sure to whom I’m listening. Is that proper grammar?

I was talking with my mom yesterday about influential teachers I had during school. I thought it would be nice to email them and let them know how they helped my development both academically and personally. In the process we talked about how some teachers were not very good and then I remembered how much I hated being thirteen years old.

My hamstrings are really tight. I should stretch more. I also re-sprained my ankle on Friday. I’m also a baby.

Michigan State will most likely keep the Spartan head on the side of their football helmet and will not bring back the number one jersey. I never used the number one in playstation. Yep, I’m Comic Book Guy.

I’m fairly sure none of this was important. But it was not too long and a decent distraction from work.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Questions Answered (I Hope)

I’m going for the hat trick: three posts in one day. I hope I’m not overloading anyone with information. I think everyone knows cocaine use is not good and I’m a sure only small fraction of people care about Michigan State football. To be honest, I’m not too sure I care about Spartan football, so I don’t know why I write anything about it.

Anyhoo, awhile back JC wrote a post/letter concerning some medical issues, then Emily followed up JC’s questions with some of her own. So I’m going to try to attempt to answer those questions. I know this was not done in a timely manner. I apologize and remember I’m only a medical student. I think I give sound advice and I’m up to date with the literature, but I’m not a doctor yet.

I’ll address Emily’s questions first, because they have shorter answers.

Emily,
It has been hypothesized that females actually display more attention deficit symptoms and males have more hyperactivity in the spectrum of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Although you seem to be having trouble with your concentration a key diagnostic criteria for ADHD is the presence of either attention deficit or hyperactivity in two or more separate settings BEFORE the age of seven. You don’t fit those criteria. However, the inability to concentrate is often a cardinal symptom of mood disorders, i.e., adjustment disorder, depression or anxiety. You have made a huge transition to law school from undergrad in a new town with scarce financial resources. You are also about to take your first set of law school final exams and in one class you seem particularly concerned. I would say your inability to concentrate would be more likely related to those issues and not ADHD. The anxiety is often treated medically with selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI’s), benzodiazepines, like alprazolam (Xanax), or busprione. Relaxation techniques and exercise are also helpful in relieving anxiety. Psychotherapy is a mainstay of management, however, good psychologists are hard to come by and often insurance companies do not cover the cost. As for adjustment disorder, there are no treatments and this usually resolves with time.

The exercise-induced asthma is how my asthma initially presented. I often would wheeze after my run or especially after playing basketball in a dry IM building. Then one night at Jeni’s cousin’s house it was very smoky with cigarette smoke and I had my first asthma attack, which is not fun. Soon after that I began waking up from my sleep wheezing. I was given an albuterol inhaler, but I abused that because I needed to use it too often. Eventually I was placed on Advair 100/50. Your two brothers have asthma and our entire family has very bad allergies. You most likely have asthma. The best treatment for asthma is a long acting beta-2 agonist combined with a steroid and an albuterol rescue inhaler for acute exacerbations. Advair has fluticasone (a steroid) and albuterol (a short acting beta-2 agonist) and is an outstanding medication for control of asthma symptoms. If your symptoms persist, you should see a doctor and be given Advair.

JC,
One of the reasons I love neurology is because it is all about localization. If a person has a neurological symptom, the goal of the neurologist is to localize exactly where this lesion is in the nervous system. So with the constellation of symptoms/questions I tried to think of one area in the body that could produce those symptoms. I did that, but I don’t think that is your problem. It was just fun to do.

The hypothalamus is a small structure located in the middle base of the brain and plays a role in several biological functions from initiating sleep to hunger and satiety to releasing hormones that are involved in the body’s metabolism. The suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN) in the hypothalamus is involved in the initiation of sleep, the ventromedial nucleus controls hunger, while the ventrolateral nucleus detects satiety – or the feeling of fullness – and the hypothalamus also releases thyrotropin releasing hormone (TRH), which stimulates the anterior pituitary to release thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH), which then in turn stimulates the production of thyroid hormones, triiodothyronine (T3) and thyroxine (T4). Therefore, a disruption in the hypothalamus could cause symptoms such as insomnia, specifically difficulty falling asleep, trouble recognizing hunger and fullness as well as hypothyroid symptoms, such as lethargy, weight gain, cold intolerance, dry skin, brittle hair and oligomenorrhea/amenorrhea (in females).

I don’t think you have a hypothalamic problem. But it’s just interesting to see how all of those symptoms could be connected. However, I do believe some lab work is in order. I would start with thyroid function tests, such as TSH/Free T4. A high TSH and low T4 would be indicative of hypothyroid and this could explain several of your symptoms. Hypothyroid is easily treated with levothyroxine (Synthroid or Levoxyl), which will increase the level of T4 and will bring you back to your baseline energy level as well as increase your metabolism and slow any weight gain.

A binge/purge diet can be seen in people who are very busy, like you, who travel a lot and cannot find the time to eat. Then when they do find time, they eat a lot. It’s not a great way to eat because not eating will slow the metabolism and then all the food consumed later takes longer to be burned off. That’s why bulimics are awful at losing weight whereas their eating disorder counterparts, anorexics, are much more successful by simply starving themselves…which is obviously even more unhealthy. If you could make your schedule a little more time friendly, finding time to eat on a regular basis would not be as difficult and would probably help with any lethargy you feel during the day.

Finally, some of your sleeping problems could be addressed with the medication ramelteon (Rozerem). Ramelteon is a melatonin receptor agonist that acts in the SCN of the hypothalamus to help in the initiation of sleep. Melatonin itself is a powerful sleep stimulator and over the counter melatonin supplements could be used as a sleep aid. Better sleep would also improve all of the symptoms you have asked about, because it will allow your body to become familiar with a routine.

I hope I’ve addressed all of the questions and I hope that at least some of this helps. Sorry it was too long, I hope no one got diarrhea as they have in previously long posts by me. But I can address that at another time.

Dantonio Losing Recruits


Since I returned from the hospital I checked my email.

Jack Cornell, a highly touted OL, decommitted from the Spartans yesterday.

Then Keith Nichol decommitted and committed to the Oklahoma Sooners.

Both Cornell and Nichol stated they were disappointed by Dantonio letting all of John L. Smith's staff go, namely Dan Enos (who was Dantonio's quarterbacks coach for two years at Cincinnati) and Jeff Stoutland.

Expect Michigan State to lose more of the top level recruits John L. had brought in for the Class of 2007. It will be a long time before the Spartans will see a bowl game now after losing all this talent.

Polydactyly

I'm not talking about Poly Patches Perez.

Cocaine is not good during pregnancy.

Cocaine is probably never good for you.

Don't do cocaine.