Radiation Vacation, Snakes, Cigars and Morality

Get out my eye teardrop; I gotta see my way around.

If anyone knows who sang that, I’ll give you some sort of reward. I have been starting these posts with a lyric from whatever song is playing on my ITunes while I write.

Yeah, I’m posting on Tuesday because I have the day off and I’m bored of reading, scheduling rotations and paying bills. I wish I had my radiation vacation (or radi-holiday) when Dave was in town, I could have done a lot more. Anyhoo, sorry for any inconvenience. There really shouldn’t be any though.

So I looked up what snakes mean in dreams. First of all, recurring dreams apparently are a sign of unresolved issues and snakes, particularly when they bite you, are a sign of resolution or moving on. Really? That seems about right and if this is the case, which it isn’t, my unresolved issues should have some resolution and maybe everything will be coming up Milhouse, which it won’t be.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, Sigmund Freud.

I was watching The Fugitive on Sunday and one of the story lines in the plot concerns a new drug called, Provasic, or the RDU-90 protocol, and whether or not it is hepatotoxic (toxic to the liver). As Richard Kimble, a vascular surgeon stated, “[This drug] will clean out those arteries boys, and put us out of business.” The Fugitive was released in 1993 and shortly thereafter a new class of drugs “statins” were approved, which coincidently lowered cholesterol, i.e., “cleaned out those arteries”, and also were known to elevate liver enzymes and cause some form of hepatotoxicity. I wonder if there were any real life vascular surgeons that actually had their wife murdered in order for atorvastatin (Lipitor) to be released and the hepatotoxic adverse reactions concealed? Probably not.

Son of a banji Banek! Run the right hole!

I had an interesting run yesterday. A man from a black pick-up truck yelled, “Go back to China.” I yelled, “Fuck you, you fucking douche.” Then I thought, “I’ve never been to China. That’s a weird thing to say.” Then one of those military helicopters looked like it was flying right at me. It was really low and had two blades, like the one Dusty used to fly in GI Joe. I thought it might shoot at me. It didn’t. I guess my run really wasn’t all that interesting.

If I ran the same distance I ran yesterday in a straight line from my apartment I would be 4.5 miles into Canada. I only live 2.45 miles from the Canadian border. I didn’t really know that. Also, if I had run in a straight line from my place I would have run across water, which only one other person I have heard of has been able to do that.

Some biologist from Harvard has proposed a theory that explains morality is an evolutionary trait and one’s decision making in right vs. wrong is done quickly via the subconscious. Then afterward a rationalization is made about why one chose that decision. This seems to combine strict scientific thought, evolution and DNA, with a more spiritual entity, the soul and the subconscious. Are scientists allowed to do that?

My Dream, The Conclusion

When I woke from this snakebite I was in a weird cafeteria on a spacecraft orbiting Alderon. There were two other people there and we were all tied down to operating tables. The other two were girls who looked like part of a gang that would have hung out with the Greasers. They had their hair slicked back and were wearing tight black jeans and a black leather coat. They had black eye-liner, black lipstick and pale white skin which made them look like death.

Just then Darth Vader appeared and asked if we were ready for our punishment. The two girls cursed him and I was too scared to say anything. I managed to ask why I was being punished. He didn’t answer, but instead showed the video of the snake biting me. He paused it and asked if I saw what I had in my hand. He zoomed in and in one hand I had a bag of an ounce of marijuana and in the other I was holding the plastic object, which apparently had some sort of significance even though it wasn’t a tooth.

Darth Vader explained to me that what I had done was illegal and after biting me the snake turned me over the Empire. He told me as my punishment I would spend the next 10,000 years in the Pit of Despair. I told him he had his movies mixed, up because the Pit of Despair was from the Princess Bride not Star Wars. He got mad and did his Jedi choke grip, but let go after a couple of seconds.

So we walked over to this video arcade area where everyone was playing Mortal Combat and where the sentencing was to be confirmed. I asked if I could change my clothes because I wanted to wear this jacket when I got out in the winter. I tried to explain that even though it was a light jacket I was going to get a heavier one that matched it and wear the two together. I thought that explanation would make Darth Vader let me change, but he didn’t care. I turned to my parents and asked what I could do? I didn’t want to go into this Pit of Despair in this jacket.

There was a monitor above me showing me what the pit was like. There were little blue and green characters that looked like anteaters chasing people around with spears. I thought I could take these guys, this is nothing.

Just then some sort of emergency pulled Vader away. My parents un-cuffed me and told me to run. The two other girls were pissed that I was going to escape and they started shouting and one of them tripped me. I turned to look up and my parents were running out the door. I got back to my feet and slid between the legs of this guard at the side door and ran out of the building.

When I got outside I was on Central Michigan’s campus from 1997 when I went to visit it with my parents while I was looking at different universities I may attend. There were no trees in this area, the grass was brown and the flowers were dying because it hadn’t rained in several weeks. It was mid-afternoon and the sun was beating down on me and I was very tired, but I started to run as fast as I could.

I ended up at the McDonald’s behind Emmons dormitory and saw my parents eating breakfast. “How can you eat breakfast, it’s past 10.30?” I asked.

Then I woke up.

What does it all mean? It means I was sleeping. I stole that joke from Stephen Wright.

I scribbled this down on a piece of paper because it was the second really weird dream I have had in the last three nights; both involving snakes, Central Michigan’s campus and me getting in trouble for some reason. I figured since I wrote this one down, I’d share it with everyone. I think I am slowly slipping into the unpleasant realm of psychosis. Hopefully I’m an entertaining psychotic and not a mean one. Only time will tell I guess.

My Dream, Part 1

Okay, so this dream was so weird, I woke up and wrote it down at 3.37 in the morning. This is what I can make from my very detailed scribbles at that time. I’m insane.

I was in the Henry Ford Wyandotte Hospital library and was bored of studying so I went to the residents lounge to watch some TV. When I got there, there was a big line for employee appreciation day and free food and prizes. I was standing in line watching Today on NBC when a story about Harrison Ford, Conan O’Brien and some French explorer began. I was intrigued because the three of them were in a jungle discussing an ancient tribe that had once lived there.

A man behind me with a French accent who looked like a mix between Dr. Puhek (my favorite professor from Michigan State) and Belloq (the bad guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark) asked if I was enjoying the piece.

I said it was interesting. And then he asked if I knew where it was. I said no, I hadn’t caught that part. He said they were in Peru searching for gold, but that he came across something far more important. I asked what was that? “A tooth! We may have found a tooth!” (I wrote this part down specifically).

Apparently this tooth impressed me and my first question was, “Are there snakes following you in Peru?” Of course, he replied, but the tooth is worth it.

The next image in my dream was an aerial shot of a jungle in Peru (does Peru even have a jungle?) and we circled around it in a helicopter. When we landed we walked to this area that was an old village with the remains of one of the stone houses. There was a Willow tree to the right of the house and a little pond in front of the tree. We walked in front of this stone house and he pointed to a piece of plastic that was in the shape of a cat’s tooth.

“See the tooth!” the Puhek/Belloq character yelled. “That’s fucking plastic and there’s a snake right there!” I yelled back.

Just then the snake came up and slithered his way between my legs and jumped up at a string that was hanging from my shorts. Puhek/Belloq picked up the plastic object he thought was a tooth and turned to my parents and said this tooth is priceless.

I was preoccupied with the snake and ripped the string off of my shorts. But in the process of doing that, the right pant leg of the shorts unraveled completely and that really pissed the snake off. This big brown snake, with black triangles down its spine let out a noise that sounded like a hiss, but scared the hell out of me so I started running. When I started running I realized my parents and Puhek/Belloq were in what looked like a Safari in Africa. I tripped over a rock and the snake lunged at my neck and bit me. I explained to everyone that he bit me in the carotid sheath, which contains the common carotid artery, the internal jugular vein and the vagus nerve. I was going to die.

What to do now?

Well, it had to come to an end. Without being pessimistic, didn't we all really know that it would end like this? I mean, the Tigers were in first place like, forever! The second half of the season was dismal, by any standard.

Ahh yes, but what about the ALDS and ALCS? I agree, they had me fooled too. The emotions were running high and confidence was peaking. It looked good going into the World Series on a weeks worth of rest. Some "experts" thought that a week off was enough time to get rusty. Others thought it was excellent, giving time for Pudge and Zumaya, amoung others to rest.

It is simple really... Get players on base. Get them around the bases. Solid starting pitching. Relievers who don't blow it. And, make routine fielding plays!!!!!!!!

Holy cow, has a team ever had so many errors in the World Series? I am sitting at the airport for a few hours, so I am going to do a little research.

EDIT: The five fielding errors by the four Tigers pitchers were two more than any pitching staff in a World Series of any length.


OK, the Tigers had the lowest team ERA by a World Series loser since 1996. Their 3.00 ERA should indicate that the pitchers, pitched well. Not exactly. Costly mistakes took away from that. Umm...please learn how to field a ground ball in the spring.

OK, so the elimination of errors would not have really affected games 1, 2, or 3, other than possible momentum implications.

Game 4 is another story. The Tiggs ended up losing 5-4. Rodney threw the ball away, giving up 2 runs. Hmm......... Tigers tied at 2-2 in the Series, with at least one more game guaranteed in Detroit, where the fans were amazing!

Game 4 was in the books however. Game 5 was within reach, but Inge and Verlander game up 2 more runs on errors. Damn. Oh yeah, and Placido Polonco was 0-17.

OK, everyone saw it, so I am not going to stay down on the Tiggers.

In un-Jonly fashion, I am going to be optimistic and look at the future.

The Tigers enjoyed over 600,000 more fans at Comerica Park this year. You can imagine the increased revenues from those fans. Tickets, concessions, merchandise, etc. etc.
I think it sends a clear picture to Mike Illitch that having a winning team makes more money. From a business aspect, it makes total sense. (Ask Matt Millen how he feels about this).

We are just a player or two, with the mistakes that we made, from being the World Champions. Mags was clutch at times. Pudge is ridiculously not an offensive threat. Polonco is great, but officially streaky. We had a balanced offense in terms of power and consistency. It is time to grab one more big name, who can hit 30+ homers and provide a spark.

Your core is still slated to be around next year. With what can gather, the only real free agents we have are Jamie Walker and Sean Casey. In my humble opinion, both should stay, especially Casey. I was not a big fan of him at first, other than his cheerleader type ways. He proved in the World Series, coming off of an injury, that he can be big time.

Verlander and Zumaya are outstanding, but they have a little growing up to do. Bringing them back with Bonderman, Maroth, and Rodgers returning, the pitching staff looks great!

So, officially from me to you, Thank You Tigers!

Does anyone want to start talking about plans to go to Lakeland next spring?

Let's Be Religious and Do It

Interest in me dissipated, all my methods antiquated.

Dear person from Ontario with the license plate AZKW 412, please don’t use your brakes that much on an expressway like the Lodge. There was no reason for it this morning. I think we could be friends and not exchange scouring looks if you didn’t drive like such a bagabond of douche.

JC’s last blog was hilarious. I also thought of another funny JC comment on my way to work this morning: “Take it easy knobby, handle with care.” Awesome.

Kohler, thanks for the kind words about the Alliance while we were at Beek’s. I’m glad you read it regularly and enjoy it.

Speaking of TBA, since EKG left for his post-modern/avant guard blog, I was wondering if there should be a third new voice to this site. JC thought it might work. What do you all think? Perhaps an essay contest is in order? Perhaps not…

Apparently Jeff Suppan will appear in an anti-stem cell commercial in Missouri during tonight’s World Series game. Wouldn’t it be ironic if he got hit in the eye with the ball and destroyed his optic nerve and the only way to repair it is with stem cells? Wait, that’s not ironic, I meant funny.

That was mean.

Ozkar thinks every cup in the apartment is his from which he is free to drink. So I have to drink out of sippy cups like I’m three again.

My Internet connection is pathetic and Geek Squad was going to charge me $159 to come out and look at it. They didn’t install it right the first time and that was $60 for about fifteen minutes of work. I told them to fuck off. Literally.

That was mean.

Today the conversation at lunch wandered into single medical students, which happens to be a minority to which I belong. However, the three other students there were also single. The two women believed a woman in medicine who is single is less desirable to the opposite sex (assuming they are heterosexual) than a man in medical school who is single. That may be true, but I haven’t had my soon to be doctor status pay off for me. After this, the conversation drifted into what percentage of Muslims, Presbyterians and Hindus are virgins when they wed. I don’t know the answer, but from what I see Christians like to have sex. Apparently so do folks from other religions. I was very quiet during the whole discussion.

I have been listening to Pinkerton almost exclusively since Dave and I jukebox dominated at Beek’s last Thursday night. The last two times I have been on big Pinkerton/Weezer kicks I ended up with a girlfriend shortly thereafter. Hmmm….

Let them both go at it, and see which one will win.

Aftermath of Game 2

In a last minute decision before the first pitch of Game 3 last night, the officials decided to repremand Kenny Rogers and the Tigers.

It was decided that the Tigers would not be allowed to use bats in the game.

I vomited from the piss poor result.

Anybody Catch Game 2 of the World Series?

I am just curious, because I can't sleep. I keep reading stuff about this big huge controversy surrounding Kenny Rogers. It seems like there was something on his hand. This something has been showin in photographs to be on his hand in past rounds of the playoffs.

Now, I have already read some different theories surrounding this something that strikingly resembles pine tar on Mr. Rogers hand. They include his black underbilled hat, which is an illegal deviance from the standard uniform. This would provide an easy spot to place a substance on to hide it. Obviously hiding it is not a concern, so....next. There is also the theory from the horse's mouth. It was a combination of dirt, spit, and rosin, from rubbing the balls pre-game. A clump of this "mud" was stuck on his hand. I'm not buying that one either. A friend at work said that he figured Rogers ate some bad Chinese the night before. With all of the excitement of Comerica Park, and the gurgling of his stomach, he had a little accident. I just don't know. I also don't care. After the controversy was washed away after the bottom of the 1st, Mr. Rogers went on to pitch seven more scoreless innings, bringing his total to 23 in a row.

Of everyone else's take on this "sticky" situation, I liked Tigers first base coach Andy Van Slyke's take on it the best (as reported by ESPN's Jayson Stark):

"You know, he has a terrible habit," Tigers coach Andy Van Slyke reported, "of eating Tootsie Rolls. And he happened to sit next to a heater."

Right. That was probably it. And there are undoubtedly other possibilities, too. Like, well, chocolate cake. Tigers closer Todd Jones tossed that one out there Sunday night.

"No," Van Slyke said, in instant denial mode. "You can't bring cake on the bench. You've got to eat something with a wrapper on it."

All right. How about soup? That's about the same color as Rogers' hand.

"Nope," Van Slyke said. "No utensils allowed on the bench. But if we were playing in Japan, it might have been wasabi."

OK, so if this were the Japan tour, we might be on to something. But since this is the World Series, that's out.

So was there any chance, us media madmen persisted, that it might have been pine tar? And Van Slyke was just about the perfect person to ask, too, since he was seen in the dugout in what appeared to be a long, between-innings chat with Rogers after the first inning Sunday.

But in truth, "I wasn't involved in the conversation," Van Slyke quipped. "Just, when I shook Kenny's hand, it took me 30 seconds to get unstuck."

It just proves that there is always something to be made of nothing. I know how many Cardinal fans view this mini-scandal, but the fact of the matter is, the first inning was the worst one that Rogers pitched last night. With cleaned up hands, he dominated even more. The real question is, how can I have that much enthusiasm and be so pumped when I am going on 42? They should check his blood.

Was that Heart?

Did I just see some heart from Michigan State on both sides of the ball. After being down 38-3, midway through the 3rd quarter, they pulled off an impressive comeback.

A field goal with 10 seconds to go left the Spartans up 41-38 in the end.

Heart. I almost forgot what that looked like.

Go TIGERS!!

A Good Cause

I woke up this morning. That was an accomplishment enough. I then proceeded to throw on a winter hat and walk for breast cancer. It is a good cause and was a good little bit of exercise.

If you would have seen me last night, you would realize how much of an accomplishment this was.

Next time I think I will walk for a different cause......Alcoholism.

The Day After Yesterday

Oh you won’t forget a beautiful brunette with eyes of chocolate.

I’m breaking two streaks with this post. The first is JC’s six posts in a row as well as my normal Wednesday rambling. I was busy last night and therefore, will have to give you all my useless weekly thoughts today. Does anyone really care? Good, I’ll move on.

Thanks to everyone who has called to check-up on me. I appreciate it, but you need not concern yourself with my pansy nature. Thank you though. I heard someone say yesterday, “Just like a kidney stone, this too will pass.”

As Chris and I talked on Tuesday we confirmed that it was indeed National Ass-hole Day. This realization stemmed mostly from my annoyance with individuals who merge onto the Lodge at 30 MPH. Hit and gun baby. I want to be up to 70-75 MPH by the end of the on-ramp. That’s how I roll. That’s the Dominic Hasek School of Driving. Thanks to Chris reminding me of the national holiday my freak-out/road rage was minor.

I recently made a CD. It’s not my best effort and according to EKG none of my mix CD’s are good anyway. But what I like about this disc is the first five songs encompass a total of eleven minutes and the last two songs are roughly thirteen minutes long. Now that’s rock ‘n’ roll…if rock ‘n’ roll was defined by the length of a song and me…which it’s not.

I hope I never get HIV/AIDS because I’m pretty sure I’m a carrier of toxoplasmosis. I’m sure I have drunk out of the same cup as my cat on accident.

The New York Times recently reported a paper written at the University of Michigan that questioned the National Cholesterol Education Panel (NCEP) and American Treatment Guidelines (ATP-III) treatment recommendations for cholesterol levels. Previously, treatment guidelines were to lower low-density lipoprotein (LDL), the bad cholesterol, to below 130 mg/dL. After the release of NCEP and ATP-III the new recommendations were to lower LDL to less than 100 mg/dL with the option to treat below 70 mg/dL with high-risk patients, such as those with coronary heart disease (CHD) or a CHD risk-equivalent (diabetes). The authors questioned these guidelines stating there is really no randomized controlled clinically trials to support these numbers. Although there is no dispute LDL and total cholesterol should be lowered, it raises questions as to why these numbers were chosen. I recently read an article in the New Physician and the authors stated pharmaceutical companies and their strong lobby have pushed physicians to lower treatment and diagnostic guidelines in order to increase the medications being prescribed. I’m not too sure there is an elaborate and sinister plan like the New Physician author was suggesting, but I do believe the diagnostic criteria for disease has been lowered. By doing this there is an increase in the sensitivity, but the specificity suffers. Thus, there are too many false positives, that is individuals who are diagnosed with a disease but do not actually have it. I recently brought this discussion up over dinner to my parents and sister. They were just as bored as I’m sure you are. So I’ll stop…but I could go on. Suffice to say, medicine is in a constant state of change and it is always important to stay on top of the literature.

I believe this post has over stayed its welcome.

Chris was a little premature

The time has come to do a little planning.

There are two World Series games this weekend. One on Saturday and one on Sunday. Obviously since schools, works, etc., etc. interfere with party time on Sunday, Saturday is the day for a World Series party!

M to the Q is flying in from Colorado on Friday afternoon. I will be retuning from Texas sometime Friday afternoon as well.

I think that going to D Town would be a fun awesome time! Again, to reiterate Chris' concerns - driving, lodging, and attentiveness. If you factor money into the equation, it becomes that much more difficult.

I personally would be willing to stay relatively sober to drive everyone around. Afterall, the Tigers are 2-0 in postseason play when I am sober. I would only be able to drive so many people around though.

My goals of the weekend:

watching the Tigers WIN!
seeing as many friends as possible
becoming inebriated, if the situation allows for it
having joyous celebrations

I would offer up my pad, but I don't think everyone would be down with driving to Lansing.

Chris offered up his. We could do a little bbq, or have some Tiffany's pizza. We could have a plethora of drinks, from frozen and festive to ice cold beer. There are plenty of places to sleep. I think it sounds like a good idea, but what do I know.

Come one, come all (4 people who read this) and give up your suggestions for the weekend of the Tiger!

I want MQ and everyone else to enjoy themselves as thoroughly as possible. Help me help us make it happen!

Bring it on A-Rod Haters!

Many people don't like A-Rod. I kind of do. Maybe it is because he is an amazing ball player who got a raw deal. I guess being the highest paid player in baseball is hardly a raw deal, but New York devoured him.

I know what you are thinking, or at least what AZ is thinking: How can you be for A-Rod and against someone like say....Joey Harrington.

Because I can damnit! is my response.

All I am trying to say is that now that Lou Piniella is the new coach of the Cubs, he is going to find a way to bring A-Rod to Chicago. It almost makes me want to move to Chicago to be a Cubs fan. I said ALMOST. I like it better here in Michigan....Tiger Town.

All I am saying is how can you hate A-Rod if he is a Cub?

I should have taken a boat

Apparently, the best way to get to Texas yesterdays would have been a boat. I was delayed out of Lansing, because there was a weight / balance issue with the plane. It took an hour to correct. I told the flight attendant to let the captain know that I could sit on the left side of the aisle, I am sure that would have corrected the issue.

I should have been late for my connecting flight out of Minneapolis. Ha ha, I wasn't. It was delayed for an hour and a half. So, without waiting for long, I boarded and sat there. I sat there for another hour. Since we were late and were going to a place with bad weather, we were not priority for take-off.

We finally get into the air and have to take a westardly roundabout way to Houston, to miss the storms. We sit and sit and sit and the captain comes on and says that we might need to get some more fuel in San Antonio, since we have been flying around Corpus Christi for a while. Apparently there was a hold on landings in Houston.

TO mkae a long story just a little longer, we were four hours late. I missed my afternoon appointment, so I drove through feet of water to get to my hotel. Houston was under water. I guess it cleaned things up a little.

To make matters worse, since I was so late (as everyone else was too) the rental car place tried to make me drive a mini-van. I didn't dig it, so I got a Dodge Caliber instead. It is interesting.

Ahh...I am here. I need to go to work for a few hours.

It is supposed to be sunny and 93 today. I think I will drive to the coast.

Escape

After a good solid week of colder weather and even a freakishly early snowfall, I am escaping today.

I am Texas bound, where currently there are strong storm warnings, flood warnings, and tornado watches. The shit is tornado. T-O-R-N-A-D-O. It should be an interesting flight. After that, tomorrow and the next day are supposed to be 90 and sunny. I can handle that!! It should be a pretty easy week. I need to catch up on some work stuff and get ready for the weekend that is Tigers baseball!

The plans are in effect to obtain World Series tickets. I feel like I have done everything that I can to get some tickets. Now, I can only turn to luck. If you believe in that sort of thing.

Matt will be arriving in good old Toledo, OH on Friday afternoon. I am supposed to be arriving on Friday evening to Lansing, but am going to try to change my ticket to come back Thursday evening. This means that I could pick Matt up from the airport, or go with AZ if he wants me to.

There was an earthquake in Hawaii. It was on the west coast of the Big Island. 90% of Oahu was out of power. Eff-you Michigan, Big Island Beeotches!! Hopefully some ice heads were affected.

In other news, I got nothing!

It is Official

It is official, the Detroit Tigers, despite winning only 19 of their last 51 games of the season, including dropping their last five to lose their division, are going to the World Series for the first time since 1984.

According to Mags, that is 12 years. It is OK though, because he was excited.

The Tigers are 2-0 when watching the game with my parents. They are also 2-0 when watching the game sober. That is a sobering statistic.

It is also official that M to the Q will be arriving in Detroit on Friday afternoon. I will we arriving in Lansing Friday afternoon as well. Hopefully things go well Monday morning at 10:00 in obtaining tickets to the Series.

In other news, Monroe is stupid, although the best of it was certainly made. A little pool and a little hangman and a little of cheering against the Michigan Wolverines made it tolerable. Oh yeah, that and Andy, DJ, Emily, and Lindsay.

I have no preference of who the Tigers will play in the World Series. If I had to choose, I would say St. Louis though, so I guess I do have a preference.

I must now drive back up to the EL, so I can do some laundry, pack, and get ready to revisit some warm weather tomorrow morning.

Go Tigers!! Oh wait, they already went. Thanks Mags!

It is October 14th.

It has already been colder and snowed more than I can remember the last time of those occurances.

I don't think that was a sentance.

I don't think that was a word.

The Tigers are providing for a very exciting pasttime. I sit on my ass and watch them, enjoying Kenny Roders swearing after every delivery of the sport's namesake implement. Although Todd Jones freightens me, I like his quote to his naysayers. If you don't like my pitching or my approach to the game, go get up and make yourself a sandwich. Either way, it will be over in fifteen minutes. I misquoted him, that is why I did not use the " " " marks.

World Series tickets go onsale to the general public Monday morning at 10:00. I will be on an airplane and unable to purchase them. M to the Q and I have a plan to obtain tickets to the series to end all serieses. Assuming the Tigers make it. Just kidding.

By the way, who cares about Michigan State athletics? I like watching mushrooms grow.

I am tired, but I can't sleep when the outside starts to get lighter.

It is a dog eat dog world.

Code Blue! God Made My Tires Flat

What can I say that you can’t say better? What can I tell you?

The Alliance seems to have had a casualty. Perhaps EKG had an EKG and he was in V Fib or PEA. Was he a DNR and thus did not get shocked at 360 J? I know EKG is out there so I’m pretty sure he’s okay.

Speaking of codes, the New York Times had an interesting story discussing how successful cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) is in the hospital. The article noted most individuals who have CPR on TV survive. Not true in real life. The separate article I just read concerning anoxic brain injury reported only a 44% success rate during initial CPR and less than 10% of patients who receive CPR are alive at six weeks.

Michigan State 34, The Ohio State 31.

I don’t worship the devil, but I do agree with a lot of the things he tells me.

Over lunch the last two days, another fourth year medical student has been arguing the existence of God to anyone who will listen. Interestingly he was an Arabic atheist until recently when he converted to Christianity. His logic behind why God exists is based on this: say there are three dominos lined up and I push the first over, then the second falls then the third. What made the third domino fall? The second. What made the second domino fall? The first. What made the first fall? The dominos cannot figure this out because dominos cannot understand a human. I was sick of hearing this bologna and I told him dominos do not have the cognitive ability to think, being an inanimate object, and therefore, would not even know they had been knocked down. I’ve argued it before and I will continue to argue this: there is no point in proving the existence of God because what is the point of faith? Moreover, while I’m eating I just want to think about how good food is. I had not been eating much before this week.

I had four tires full of air when I left Detroit yesterday. When I got ready to go to a neurology dinner, I only had two. How the hell did two of my tires go flat? I blame God, because I just cannot understand how that could happen.

I wish I had a tail. My cat chases his tail and it looks like he is having fun.

I want to see The Departed. Has anyone seen it yet? Is it good? Does this car have four-wheel drive?

It's Your Turn Kitna

It was all Joey’s fault. It always was.

He threw too many interceptions. He didn’t go downfield. He wasn’t mobile enough. More importantly, the Detroit Lions just could not win with him at quarterback.

So the Lions parted ways with the embattled quarterback during the off-season and signed John Kitna. Kitna was billed as a tough quarterback who just made plays; a solid quarterback that would lead the Lions to the playoffs.

Well, Detroit is 0-5 and John Kitna has cost the Lions the last two games. He was responsible for three turnovers against the Rams last week that lead to seventeen points. This week he had a fumble returned for a touchdown and a bonehead pass that was intercepted and returned for a touchdown. Detroit was up 17-3 entering the fourth quarter against the Vikings and thanks to Kitna the Lions lost 26-17.

If this had been good ole Joey, Lion’s fans and the Detroit media would be ranting how homosexuals just can’t play football. Everyone in Detroit would be calling for his head. But Kitna has gotten a free pass this season. If Joey couldn’t blame it on a lack of an offensive line and no running game, Kitna cannot use those excuses. It’s time for sharp and stinging words for his dismal performances.

John Kitna is at best a back-up quarterback in the NFL. He is turnover prone and has the same phantom badass attitude Jeff Garcia had. There is a lot of talk about how tough he is, but there are no results.

The Lions are 0-5. Matt Millen is an incompetent bozo and now Detroit cannot use Joey as the scapegoat. Kitna should be blasted for his play. Dre Bly and the defense are awful. Detroit Lions football is a joke and an embarrassment and everyone is to blame. But Kitna needs to get the same treatment Joey did, because he looks worse than Joey.

How did Joey do today in his first start as a Dolphin? Well, he was Joey: two interceptions and a loss. I wonder if Dolphin fans will be as relentless as Detroit fans were with Joey. And I wonder when the over-due criticism of Kitna’s poor play will start.

Go Tigers!!

Today, the Detroit Tigers have a chance to punch their ticket to the ALCS.

Yesterday was the first home playoff appearance since 1987.

Kenny Rodgers was amazing!

The Yankees may have some turmoil on the horizon.

AZ is in town.

CM is on his way.

Detroit Tigers are the best kind of tigers.

It is sunny and beautiful outside.

Yesterday, I went out in East Lansing for the first time in a while. Stepping foot in the bar I felt like: (a) a pervert, (b) a pedophile, or (c) both.

Almost time to throw the football around on the turf field. Good times.

Go Tigers!

Booya!

Lithium, Lost and Pooting

I’m so happy because today I found my friends…I’m listening to Lithium as I type this.

Sounds like an Arby’s night.

First is the worst. Second is the best. So it sucks to be number one. Nelly must have been wrong in his rap song. But wait, I read somewhere that second is the first loser. No fear! So I think it’s safe to deduce the following: second is the best first loser. Fear Nelly!

It’s windy.

I’m running in the dark again. That’s not a metaphor, but it could be. Nope, I’m just running in the dark again because the days are shorter. Part of me loves fall. All of me hates the looming winter.

I pass a sign on the expressway on my way to Ford that says, “I pooted.” I like it.

Thanks to the Humming Text Vessel, I was able to make a new CD with 100% new songs. Very cool.

I can’t stop being nauseous and vomiting. I will check myself into an eating disorder clinic Jacob. What’s a better diet: not having enough money to eat or just not being able to eat?

Can the Spartans beat the Wolverines? Nope. Will they? Nope. This is gonna be an ugly 49-3 whooping like at the end of the Bobby Williams era. Last week during the Illinois loss, the color man was calling John L. Smith, John L. Williams. Yikes!

It’s fun to see the Tigers in the play-offs, but it’s sad to see them tank it. Next time, Gadget! Next time!

Lost returns tonight. Although I don’t like ABC’s format with the scheduling of the show this year, I’m excited for the new season. I’m a Lostie.

Look around could it bring somebody down if I never made a sound again…oh Superdrag, how I love thee.

Happy birthday Jeni (October 7). And to all a goodnight.

I am back.

I had a great week in Boston. The food was good, the drinks were good, public transportation was good. Most of all, seeing Rachelle was amazing!

Now, a lot happened here, mainly in the sports world that I am kind of glad thatI missed. Oh MSU. Why do you do this so? I couldn't believe it when I saw that MSU lost its homecoming to, none other than.....Illinois. Illinois is the worst team in the Big Ten for the last four years or so. MSU, after dropping a heartbreaker to Notre Dame, which I am still not ready to talk about, goes and loses at home to Illinois. I think it is time for a new coach. Maybe one who can motivate the players?

The Detroit Tigers, who haven't been out of first place since Mid-May, needed to win one game of a four game series against the, none other than, Kansas City Royals. The royals went into the series with 58 wins. The Tigers have slumped the second half of the season, but I am amazed that it came down to this. The one win in the series had major implications. Either host Oakland for the first round of the playoffs, or travel to New York. Apparently the Tigers wanted to go to New York. Their season is over, and although they had a good regular season, they could not make it happen in the end. Here is to next year boys.

The Detroi Lions. Look better offensively. It doesn't matter if you give up 41.

I am back in town for a couple of weeks before I get to escape the chilling temperatures for Texas again. I am looking forward to some warmth.

Boston has cemented itself at the top of my list of favorite cities, I digressed. When the winter is over, I can not wait to go back.

Here is to the start of another work week. (I keep making toasts to myself with OJ).