Big Ten Preview, Part 2

Usually sports talk will fire everyone up and spark some comments. I'm still gonna post my second part to the preview even though there wasn't much discussion to the first post (Jacob I'll address your questions separately). Perhaps the readers are just too sophisticated to worry about sports...or maybe everyone agrees with just how right I always am.

Without further ado, the Big Ten Preview Part Two.

6. What’s up with Wisconsin?
Well the penguin, a.k.a. Barry Alverez, is no longer the coach and Brian Calhoun was drafted by the worst franchise in the NFL, but Wisconsin still has the most underrated quarterback in the Big Ten, John Stocco. Camp Randall is one of the most difficult places for opposing teams to play in and should offer the Badgers five or six wins. The road won’t be kind, but the Badgers are always a solid team. They will be playing in the postseason this year.

7. So whose left?
Glen Mason is classless. He lost his offensive line and his top to running backs from last year. Brian Cupito and the most boring offense in the Big Ten can probably get to four Big Ten wins and with a non-conference schedule including powerhouses like North Dakota State, Temple and Kent State the Golden Gophers will get to a bowl game.

8. Will Purdue’s spread option offense finally catch on?
Probably not. Purdue has talent at the running back and receiver positions, but Curtis Painter hasn’t really shown he has the athleticism to play that style of offense. If Painter and the Boilermakers do gain some steam and grasp the offense they could be a scary team.

9. How will Northwestern regroup after a tragic off-season?
The Wildcats have a talented and athletic running back in Tyrell Sutton. They also boast the youngest coach in D-1 football. Unfortunately without Brett Basanez and the late Randy Walker Northwestern will struggle throughout the season.

10. Is Indiana close to competing?
James Hardy is a talented, tall and athletic two-sport athlete and is the Hoosiers version of Spartan, Matt Trannon. Blake Powers is a solid quarterback and should lead a potentially potent Hoosier offense to some early season victories. That’s about it though. Indiana just doesn’t have the talent to compete in the Big Ten yet.

11. Will a good recruiting class help Zook and Illinois?
Ron Zook isn’t a great coach, but he is a darn good recruiter. Reggie Mitchell, the defensive backs coach, as also has been able to pull in some talented freshman. Pierre Thomas Jr. and Tim Brasic will be solid in the backfield, but this young team isn’t ready on defense to face teams like Michigan State, U of M, the Ohio State and Iowa. It’s gonna be another rough year in Champaign/Urbana.

The Big Ten Preview, Part 1

Although it officially doesn’t begin until the autumnal equinox on September 23, 2006, fall is here.

The sun hasn’t been out in days. There is a cool breeze in the air. The days are getting shorter. Many universities started classes today or will start this week. I’m studying for the boards like I used to in my first two years of medical school. And college football begins this Saturday.

Many people in this area of Michigan will be cheering on the University of Michigan and the small minority will be rooting for the Spartans of Michigan State, Central Michigan, Eastern Michigan and Western Michigan. (If you live west of 23, the majority of people will be rooting for State).

I don’t know much about the MAC, but I do know a lot about the Big Ten. So here is my eleven-point preview of the Big Ten. (It’s better than stupid ESPN; so don’t go reading their crap, read my stuff).

1. Will the Ohio State win the Big Ten?
No. Road games in East Lansing and a night game in Iowa City will likely keep the Buckeyes Big Ten and National Championship aspirations at bay. However, with that being said, the final weekend and the Wolverines/Buckeyes game will probably decide the conference champ. Troy Smith, Ted Ginn and Chris Wells will provide a potent offense. But too many loses from last year’s defense in a conference stacked with outstanding quarterbacks will give the Ohio State one or two losses in conference play.

2. Who will win the Big Ten?
The Wolverines. Why? Because they have too much talent not to and there is no way this team will underachieve two years in a row. Lamar Woodley is a versatile defender and U of M returns a solid defensive core. Sure Mike Hart will stub his toe and be out four-six weeks and I’m sure Chad Henne will average a fumble every other game, but Mario Manningham will become Henne’s bail-out go to receiver. The toughest games against Michigan State and Iowa will be at home. U of M could get tripped up at Penn State and it’s hard to bet on the Wolverines in Columbus, versus Jim Tressel and Troy Smith.

3. Who could contend for the Big Ten?
Iowa. Drew Tate is as good as any other quarterback in the Big Ten and now the Hawkeyes have a running game. The top five recruiting class from two years ago has matured and will be ready to go. They won’t win at Michigan Stadium, but a night game at home against the Buckeyes is prime for an instant classic.

4. Will Penn State go 7-1 again?
No. But they will have a winning record in the Big Ten. Anthony Morelli is no Michael Robinson, but he doesn’t have to be with a healthy Tony Hunt and Derrick Williams. Paul Posluszny anchors a solid defense. The Nitny Lions could get revenge against U of M at home, but won’t be able to top teams like the Ohio State on the road.

5. Will the coaches screw up the Spartans season?
Probably. John L. Smith has an innovative and exciting offense, but he is a complete jackass. Drew Stanton is the best quarterback in the Big Ten and State has an underrated rushing attack. The defense has gotten better with the addition of Nehemiah “Nemo” Warwick at strong safety and Daniel Herron is the most under-rated linebacker in the Big Ten. Michigan State should be no worse than 3-1 at home and 2-2 on the road. The Spartans will split the U of M and the Ohio State weeks in early October and it could be a special season in East Lansing…if the kids play their tails off and the coaches don’t screw it up.

Not to get off topic

I like the hair topic. That is why I am sticking with it. I got my hair cut today. I am a little upset at how the whole thing went down. I called an made an appointment earlier this week. I requested my new girl. She was booked. So I put it off until yesterday. I called back to see if she had any cancelations. She was booked.

I am sure you all know how hard it is to get a good haircutting girl. I used to have a wonderful one. Then I didn't. It is a long and wonderful, I mean, terrible story. Anyways. You want a mix of sexiness, skill, sexiness, and personality. Afterall, who wants to sit there for an hour and have a dull conversation. Or, even worse, no conversation at all. On top of that, isn't it much nicer to have a wonderful conversation with a sexy girl who is rubbing your head. Word.

Anyways, I bit the bullet, since I didn't have too much time this week to get it done. I took an appointment with someone else from the same establishment. When I arrived, I asked if there were any last minute cancellations for my girl. They said no. Well somewhere in the 20 minutes I was in there waiting for my new girl to come get me, there was. No one told me.

I went back and she started my massage. Then she washed my hair. When we sat down and she started cutting. My old girl. Real girl came over. I was exstatic that she remembered me since I only went to her once. She had a disappointed look on her face. She joked that she thought for sure I was hers after last time. I told her I was definately and that she shoudln't be so good because she is always booked. She laughed and went to yell at the scheduling people for taking her clients away from her.

She then came back and talked to me and the other girl cutting my hair for the hour I was there. I felt a little bad, but I was glad to talk to her. I guess I will have to start making my appointments further in advance. Afterall, it is so darn hard to find a good haircutting girl.

Long or Short? You Make the Call

Admittedly this is a rather vain post. My sincerest apologies to all of you. But I’m throwing it out to the twelve or so folks who read this blog.

Long hair vs. short hair AZ? I have been called ugly both ways, but now I’ll let you all decide what look I should have for the next few months.

Option 1: Trim the back and leave it long.

Option 2: Cut it short.

Option 3: Don’t do a damn thing.

Let me know what ya’ll think. I’m letting you guys choose my look. I don’t know what I want to do…and I really don’t care.

Thanks for your input.

As a side-note, thanks for all the comments to the posts. That’s awesome. You all are awesome.

(This has been my shortest post of all time.)

Way to go Tigers!

There was some good and some bad tonight in Tigerland.

First of all, I apologize to everyone for not posting some blogs about the weekend. It was very fun and crazy. I am still in recovery mode and have almost gathered myself together enough to share some of the stories and pictures.

Anyways, back to baseball.

Good news, the Tigers won 3-2. Also, Shawn Casey is coming to play. Also, the White Sox are losing in the 8th. Also, Placido Polanco made one of the hugest "Web Gem" catches, to save a run.

Bad news, Placido Polanco on said catch separated his shoulder and is out indefinately. In other bad news, Jeremy Bonderman pitched marvelously, only to get a no decision. He pitched 7 2/3 giving up 5 hits, 2 runs, 1 walk, 8 K's, and 1 HR. He outdueled Curt Schilling.

Hopefully, the lull that occurred during the White Sox series is over, for good.

Oh Drat.

I'm pretty sure the world is coming to an end soon.

That sucks because I've got a lot of BK Coups I want to use before the apocalypse.

Whoppers for everybody! On me and my Savings Sense Coupons!

I'm scared

I am always scared to make a post after Andy does. He is way smarter than me and knows everything about important things. I am stupid and fat and love my ignorance.

It was day 3 in Dallas today. It was kind of busy, but not too busy. It was hot as balls. 105 on the thermometer.

I got to play basketball with some of the old boys. I am out of shape now and can't shoot for a damn. I am confident however, that if I had a month to train, I would be back in tip top shape.

I had a nice mehicano dinner at the Blue Goose Cantina. I followed that up with the Tigers game at the BW3. I had only 5 large beers, so I went home to sleep it off. I can't though.

My mind is racing. I got stood up by a 85% gay guy, who I enjoy talking to, nothing more. My ex girlfriend bothers me. I drink too much. Etc. etc.

I am going to Waco tomorrow to hang out with the Scott Saenz. It is so very random and for that...so very necessary. I have never been to Waco, but given what has historically happened there, it is my kind of town. I had a ticket to the Rangers game tomorrow, but who wants to pay $10 for parking to sit in the 100+ degree heat? I would rather spend the night in Waco, at the Quality Inn next door to the Hooters and see an old friend.

"hey Jon, look, I am in the tree".

"you girls want to have a train"?

etc. etc.

apparently people who meet me don't like me.

It is a Miller Lite man law. Thank god to the girls who promote that product. I will now have good dreams tonight.

goodnight to all, and to all a good night.

STR Equals Stroke? Yes and No

I have been hanging out on myspce.com a lot more often. I have my reasons, but mostly my increased profile awareness is because I am on my computer so often with residency applications, email and working out future rotation schedules.

So today when I viewed my profile, I saw a bulletin from Kohler titled, “In Case I have a Stroke.” I was curious so I read it.

The bulletin concerned a friend of someone who had had a stroke. In order to help others understand how a stroke may present, i.e. signs and symptoms, this person/persons have come up with a simple screening tool for strokes or cerebral vascular accidents (CVA). They employed the acronym “STR” as an easy and applicable way to identifying a stroke.

The “S” stands for smile; the “T” is for talk, as in have the person speak a simple sentence; and finally the “R” is for the patient to raise both arms.

These three simple screening questions do correlate to a stroke, but why do they correlate and what else could they mean? Here are some of the answers.

Often a CVA will cause what is known as an upper motor neuron lesion, which is in simple terms damage to the beginning of a nerve/neural pathway. The innervation of the facial muscles/expressions is cranial nerve seven. The upper face receives bilateral innervation, while the lower face receives only unilateral innervation. Therefore, in a stroke a patient may not be able to smile on one side of their face, but will still be able to wrinkle their forehead and close their eyes.

Simply not being able to smile does not mean the person is having a CVA. For example, the person may have a Bell’s Palsy. In the latter case, there will be an entire ipsilateral (one side) facial paralysis. This means the person will not be able to blink, wrinkle their forehead or smile/grimace. A Bell’s Palsy still should be treated as an emergency, because early interventions with corticosteroids can save/delay neuronal damage.

Often in a stroke the patient will begin to slur their speech, a term known as dysarthria. This can be very alarming and may be a CVA. Again, there are other situations in which one may become dysarthric. For example, an individual who just had a seizure may be dysarthric during the seizure or in the post-ictal state. However, if someone does have a seizure, he/she should be taken to the emergency room for the appropriate work-up and treatment.

Finally, raising one’s arms is another fine screening tool to see if a person is stroking out a part of their brain. However, the patient characteristics must be included and understood to rule-in or rule-out a stroke. For instance, a 22-year-old female may develop sudden weakness in her upper or lower extremities. This may not be a sign of stroke, but rather could be an acute exacerbation or onset of multiple sclerosis. Furthermore, a 54 year old man complaining of left arm pain and cannot raise his arm may be having a myocardial infarction (heart attack). These last two cases are medical emergencies, but are not strokes.

An individual also may have neurological/stroke symptoms but not have a true CVA. Often in these cases, the person has a transient ischemic attack (TIA) or mini/warning stroke. The person needs prompt emergent medical work-up in this case as well. An individual who suffers a TIA will progress to a full-blown stroke in one-third of the cases, with the greatest risk for CVA being within the first couple weeks after the TIA.

Strokes are the third leading cause of death in the United States and are one of the leading health care costs due to the secondary disabilities that follow after such a traumatic insult to the brain. Early recognition of strokes is very important. Morbidity and mortality can be improved if the patient is treated within the first three hours.

The simple STR screening tool is an excellent way to identify a potential neurological event, but it does not always mean a person is stroking. Regardless, prompt emergent interaction is needed and the person should be taken to the nearest emergency department.

First Night in the Big D.

I realize that I miss Dallas. A lot!

It was a long trip getting here yesterday. I can't complain, because I was bumped up to first class. It is nice being an elite member. You know what that means. Free booze. I treated my flights to Dallas like a day in Vegas. Capping it off with some crazy irish coffees. I told them to make me an irish coffee with Bailey's and throw a shot of Jameson in too. It was delicious.

I made it there and rented a Jeep. It is better than my Jeep because it is the real thing. I made it to the Hilton Suites and was just going to crash. Something inside of me told me to go out for a nightcap though. Maybe it was the previous alcohol. So, I listened to my inner self. I am glad that I did.

I went to a very nice low key bar, somewhat near my hotel. I didn't want to be driving too far. I walk in and sit down at the bar. It is relatively empty, since it is a Monday night. Down the bar I see two guys, looking like they were having a good time. I realize that they have familiar faces. After figuring out who they were I approached them. They didn't seem to mind.

It was Jason Terry and Josh Howard from the Mavs. We talked about Maurice Ager and how exciting and athletic he is. We also talked about Chauncy. Turns out the guy is an ass on the court. Maybe they are just mad that he is normally schooling them. I also learned that Josh Howard is a taurus. He was born just two days before me. Those two days must have made a huge difference, since he is insanely more successful than I will ever be.

Regardless, they mentioned that they were enjoying being in a place where no one recognized them, that is until I came along. I was taking the hint and moving along, when they said they were just kidding and bought me a shot. Then another shot. Needless to say, it was a hell of a nightcap.

I made sure I texted Brooke since I knew she would be insanely jealous. I think she was. I was going to take a few pictures of them and send them to her, but how would that have really looked?

I am struggling today a bit, but am starting to regain myself.

It makes me miss Dallas.

On the other hand, it is hot as shit!

A Text-Messager's Blog.

Sometimes when I get drunk, I text message people things that I shouldn't. Sometimes I just don't make sense. Sometimes I do manke sense but the built-in word programs, such as t9 or ITap, don't allow me to make sense.

Enough about me, this blog isn't about me. This is a real account of text messaging that occured in reality, sort of. This occured beginning at 12:48am. Names have been removed to protect the innocent.

1). Sherm there O many girls whe wanted.

2). Is

3). XXX loved me. actu i diet play my gand. got to pussz. she totally liked me by like at misst site. alex. it. it will be. miss you. love you.

4). Ring. XX loved me. word. dave rules

5). Spilatiledod

6). Totally liked of. off the hook and ibm stupid. word to yo mother

7). Chaosr strods nova. zoose

8). XXX ple loved me.

9). This XXX liked of. k glod her. totally i gaunf hamme. i do. i really con

10). love tomory. we will jon the truthig. i ha cant about lak lagolad laittasis. she likededef. belte cul kinda me tomo. sometimes im A antage bad. read the bible. pare forty six. pushy took pen. dial lotte dial

11). We neede has. i love XXX bette she totally bug me. totally. weissr and all. yes. dial and my sent penis. yes. i like nd had have dia sears. peoPle like topmos thesie scoutts

12). Fl gatess. me. butt i love things thats rhyme with god. why do everything gave meg XXX liked meg she went to state. I will maxw per.

13). stop. straighit up. no one ukgedr me everyone gatesi me. huffrs ill in eat wornws.

14). pizza. what. i like XXX. She namedade whali me. yep. true. emanad. my like was surge till i net XXX. pierrpssppp my dutst wife. plus four. plus five. times. six. plus a plus no wow can pros. dottu hate me for liking uglini whith non.

15). I got so much game. .up true. i could totally get on my game. i know that s could. totally. i gor a small dial, but my hanf is word.

16). He depot thingn i can do stuff. what he doesnt know is im like bring it on. girls love me.

17). xx liked me

END - 4:08am.

It is entertaining and not meant to be offensive to anyone. There have been a million times where I have texed much worse than this. It is just funny though. I wanted to get it posted since BK requested it.

Better Late Than Never!

Today was one word.....tired.

Last night the infamous David Carducci played at the Dolce Vita in good old M-Town. It is a long way to come, and I am really glad that he was able to get a show in. Everyone there loved it! Rob Robinson lent some extra old school flavor accompanying Dave on bass.

It was a lovable mix of original material, with a few songs that I personally have not heard before, (excellence) and even more lovable (sing-a-long) covers. There was some Elliot Smith, Weezer, Sloan, STP, and much, much more.

The night started as such.......I was told the show was at 8:00. I wanted to get a seat, so I got there early and enjoyed some wonderful Tiramisu. I also had a few "Gin and Tonics". These turned out to be gin martinis. Oh well.

The show was at 9, but there were no worries.

A bit of a crowd gathered. You had the Carduccis, Daniels, Kohler, Karen, Morgan, Jacob, Andy, Jeni, DJ, and countless others whom I haven't seen in a long time.

As the night went on, the crowd thinned out as the people who were rocked out went off to bed. After that, the show turned up a notch. It was sing-a-long central with crowd pleasing tunes.

There were many random requests. Slayer, Great White, El Scorcho, Leave the Biker, etc., etc.

On a more personal note, I realized that there can be an anomaly to the female race. For a while, it actually seemed like someone was interested in me. I am sure she was being overly nice, but I enjoyed it more than anyone (even those who know my pathetic life) could imagine. I mean, who wouldn't bite on a little She-Ra conversation? It is too bad that I will never see the adorable blond ever again. Would it kill me to even make a friend who I can enjoy some random text messages with, or even a random meeting? Instead, even pondering it, makes me feel like I am some sort of stalker weirdo. Sorry. She is honestly the most adorable girl ever. I just smile. Then I go to bed, knowing I am a loser.

Back to reality. Unofficial official party / outing invitations were given out to whomever I talked to for Emily's Law School going away party. This will be occuring on Saturday, August 12th. It will probably consist of some cheap drinks in the E.L. Lou Ha's will most likely be the beginning point. Depending on how many people come, and how my roommates feel, my place will be the final resting spot.

To begin to make a long story short, I got home at 3:30am. I got up for work at 6:30 and am trying to stay awake now to make a coherent thought. It isn't working.

Now, to summarize. For those of you who left early and couldn't stay until the end. Feel free to ask. Clarifications are probably available.

400 miles, new phone, JMAC, Tiffany's, Bombay Saphire, holy canoli, Lisa Loeb & the Nine Stories, ai yi yi yi yi, the human incarnation of the previously existing only in blogger world of Lommerse, suspicion, the adorable Ang, Red Lobster, baby seats, interpretive penis dance, "drop that cigarette and ride me, damnit!", bareback, brokeback, look mom, no hands, infestuous smiles, (sorry!-the sore EZ post party), driving, driving, more driving, sleep.

I forgot tons, forgive me. Please feel free to add your favorite moments that I neglected.

Goodnight to all and to all a good night.

Maybe I'm Hyper-Critical

Before last night the Tigers lost two in a row. As a hyper-critical fan, I felt like something needed to be done. The trade deadline passed and the Tiggers didn't make a major move. They really didn't need to though. They did, however, make the best move of all. They sent the beleagured Chris Shelton to Toledo and picked up Sean Casey.

Newsflash....If Chris Shelton is or was your Tiger, you have been asleep since April.

The cycle that Carlos Guillen hit for last night was super sweet. The only issue that I have with it is that the double hit in the eighth inning was a tee-ball double. He could have been thrown out by six seconds. I think it was staged. It was sweet, nonetheless.

Maybe I should lay off of the Tigers though. They are still 7 1/2 up on Chicago and were basically dominant against the Twins.

By the way, I drink way too much. That makes me an ass, and I am embarrassed to live. I should be a human public sevice announcement.