Warning! New Law for Drinking Alcohol

You may want to read this before your next alcohol related experience. It’s a new law. Feel free to leave suggestions about this bill or provide some editing that may be beneficial to future individuals over the age of 21 years who may decide to partake in such gay and wholesome activities.

The Post-Intoxication H2O Drinking Initiative
Authors: JAL, CAM, AJZ

Hear Jea! Hear Jea!

Henceforth, from this day forth, whence imbibing intoxicating spirits, the forthfathers shall whilst embarking upon the closure of the inebriating excursion, willst irrevocably promise in a steadfast manner, if said forthfathers upon consumption of H2O, shant act unilaterally in said consumption and willst encourage and moreover will assist his contemporaries in partaking in procedures of gathering and acquiring glasses and H2O to decrease the forthcoming morning’s foreseeable, and potentially preventable, side-effects of the latter eve’s intake of beverages in this fashion deemed fit by the governance of the people.

Requiem!

Touché.

Apathy Breeds Electronic Beats

I just realized today is Wednesday. I have been trying to post a blog every Wednesday (I don’t know why), but today I’m just feeling really apathetic. I’ll make this short and that way no one will get diarrhea from long blogs.

People are still talking about Michigan State’s fourth quarter collapse. Please stop for the love of my aching heart.

Matthew Kyle Quinn will make a quick pit stop in M-Town Thursday evening. It will be a prelude to the Thanksgiving Eve party. All who are able should attend or face the wrath of the beer gods. Don’t worry they don’t exist; just like the real God…seriously the latter part was a joke. Then David Ralph Carducci will be returning to Monroe late this week/early next week. The next couple of weeks are going to be very exciting.

Sloan has a new 30 song CD that was released this past Tuesday. That’s right 30 songs! I went to seven different stores today searching for the disc, but couldn’t find it. Windsor here I come!

Apparently the Red Wings and the NHL have started the pre-season. It’s sad; I’m not even sure who is wearing the “C” this year for the Wings.

I am honestly afraid of the double-speak that the Bush administration uses. Now the new legislation over torturing uses that same 1984 logic. And how can President Bush not know what “outrages to human dignity” means?

I have been so bored lately I started writing electronic music with the pre-recorded loops on my Garage Band. Now I’m trying to record my real music. Either way it will all sound like someone farting underwater in a funnel attached to an eel’s nostril.

Beanie Babies

Two days in Bean Town.

$30/day parking. Rediculous construction and thus traffic woes. Funny accents. Nice people.

Boston is a good town. I have been pretty busy, but have had a chance to hang out downtown a bit. I am ready to abandon my car for public transportation. It wouldn't be so bad, but the power outlet in the car broke, so my iPod is useless. Damn battery powered things!

Let me take take two steps back though.

The flights........I stand firm on my idea to let you be able to pick hwo you sit next to. It would be like online dating, for a few hours at a time, but not as dumb, or well, dumb.

I was delayed out of Lansing. It is always stupid when that happens, since it was a 19 minute flight this time to Detroit. Oh well, I still had a little time in Detroit to have a beer (yes at 9:30 am). Then, there was a smooth flight to Boston, until our initial decent. The captain got on the radio and said we were going to expreience some moderate turbulance shortly. Well, not 45 seconds later, I thought the plane was going down. It was the second worst turbulence I have ever had. The return flight from Hawaii was worse, but I was too tottied up to care. After about 5 minutes, it was all over and then we landed. While I was waiting for my rental car to be ready, I was standing outside talking to a guy. Turns out he was on my flight, and in the bathroom during the craziness. He said it was nuts...I just laughed.

I am actually a little busier than I thought I would be. Just some financial issues with these taxpayers out of here.

The weather has been beautiful. Sunny and 70s.

Speaking of beautiful..... The TJX Company is where I want to work. They deal with TJ Maxx and their affiliates. I did an audit for one of their distribution centers today. WHile they made me wait for a half an hour before I met with my contact, I couldn't help but notice that every girl who walked into that office was outrageously beautiful. I was actually glad that they made me wait and it was the morning when everyone was showing up to work. Damn Gina!

My ear has finally healed and I am not going to be deaf. I had a little accident with a Q-Tip the other morning and put myself through excruciating pain. So much for multi-tasking. I was only afraid for a day or two that I had permanently damaged my hearing. OK. I can hear. I can hear that you are bored with my pointmess stories.

Back from my Sabbatical

The Blog Alliance has not been much of an alliance. AZ has done a hell of a job keeping up, despite having to study for Boards and all that jazz.

A lot has happened in the last month. Here is a recap.

Cleveland Rocks, sleeping in Public Square. Drinking too much, repeatedly. Tigers clinching for first time since 1987. I was 7. It was my last year of Catholic school. Speaking of Catholics, holy cow on the last few posts. Notre Dame was lucky, but deserved it with a collapse of that magnitude. There is no reason to start a holy war on this blog though. Lions STILL suck! AZ getting hit by a bike, full-speed, at a tailgate. Freezing in the rain, only to have a down blanket in the car in the parking lot. Um......working 15-18 hour days to finish my work for the end of Michigan's fiscal year. Almost done.

Ok, that sucked, but I only have a few more minutes before I have to board my plane.

On the horizon...............Detroit Tigers playoffs. Red Wings. I have some good trips for work coming up. Boston, Houston, California, Dallas, and perhaps Denver. Sorry Matthew that I will miss you being in town on Thursday. That would be tons of fun. I will catch you soon enough though.

OK, that was random and cluster-fuckified. Sorry. I will attempt to keep up on this more, so AZ doesn't have to go it alone.

Word to your mothers.

Their Specialty is Winning...Not Really

This is from Spartanmag.com:
Now the Spartans must try to bounce back from yet another fourth quarter collapse, not unlike the onside kick debacles against Minnesota and Purdue (twice) in the Nick Saban era, the late Hail Mary and field goal loss at Northwestern in 2001, the commanding leads against Penn State that were squandered in '93, '95 and '01, the onside kick loss to Louisiana Tech in 2003, the 17-point overtime loss to Michigan in '04, and the '05 loss at Ohio State.

This is why my heart hurt so badly from September to November. Why am I still a State fan? It’s my school and I love everything about it, surprisingly even the heartache at times.

Go State! Beat Illinois! Get ready for the toughest back-to-back games in the country: at U of M and then at home versus number one the Ohio State. But just to be cliché, take it one game at a time.

The last time Michigan State met up with a number one Buckeye team, the Spartans pulled off a 28-25 upset classic. If Michigan State can beat one of those two teams (or both) this awful loss will go away…somewhat.

Priceless? No, but I Crapped My Pants and Almost Ate a Tooth

COMLEX CE-2 – $495.00. Board review books - $140.00. On-line practice exam questions – $99.00. Gas to Livonia - $24.00. Lunch during my lunch break – $7.76. Beer for after the exam – 12.59. Falling asleep with my lights and TV on - $11.94 or whatever DTE will charge me. Shouldn’t something here be priceless? Stupid MasterCard.

I apologize for the weather. The last time I took the boards (June 2005), the month of May was cold and rainy. Now September has been dreary. It’s my entire fault and I apologize.

I hate the logic behind Notre Dame getting so much press because every Catholic roots for the Fighting Irish. Screw that. There are way more Protestants than Catholics in this country. By this stupid logic every Methodist should root for Southern Methodist University. Or every Baptist should cheer on the Baylor Bears. Notre Dame is pure evil. No one should ever cheer, cheer for ole Notre Dame. And Charlie Weiss is a fat, grumpy old man.

This is a true story. I found a human tooth in my refried beans. Oh my...UNCOOL! I love this Mexican restaurant, but I'm not sure I can go back. I don't need to eat a finger or whatever else may be there.

Nick Saban’s Miami Dolphins are 0-2 heading into week three of the 2006 NFL season. However, this poor start isn’t Nick Saban’s fault or due to his players lackluster performances. Nope, week one the Dolphins were screwed over by the officials and Saban had a little quiver lip in the post-game press conference regarding Heath Miller’s 87-yard TD. Then after their week two loss at home to the Buffalo Bills, Saban said the fans shouldn’t boo the home team. He explained that only fires up the other team and hurts the home team’s chance of winning. So you see it’s not his fault. For being a coach that has made players cry, that has been profiled on ESPN as a hard ass and has a known reputation of being a dictator, he sure does cry like a little bitch a lot.

Safe happens…then I shit my pants. Damn, those Volkswagen commercials that show accident after accident scare the crap out of me. First of all, I don’t want a car like that because it seems like anyone who drives it is doomed to get into an accident. Secondly, I’m not sure some people would be able to just walk away from that like in the commercials. Those are brutal accidents.

Well Scrubs is on Comedy Central from 7-8 EST Monday thru Friday. Awesome. It is a very realistic medical show (especially when compared to shows like Gray’s Anatomy). However, two things bug me about it. The chest x-ray at the beginning of the show is backwards, or the patient has dextrocardia. The former is more likely than the latter. Secondly, during a laparoscopy, an intern tells Turk he has passed Cooper’s ligament twice. It sounds funny except Cooper’s ligament is in the breast and provides structural support to the breast. Oh well, I guess it sounded funny.

Stupid Commercials

After receiving some flattering news today, I am in relatively good spirits. I just ate at my favorite cheap Mexican restaurant, Poncho’s II. I’m probably not studying as much as I should be but I’ll get to that eventually.

So I’m in a good mood and then I see two commercials that are absolutely so ridiculous, it got me a little worked-up.

Commercial I
This commercial has a woman discussing how her sister had her yearly mammograms and breast checks and then unfortunately died of a heart attack. “She was 47,” the dejected sister stated.

Whoa! Hold the phone. What is she saying? Cardiovascular disease (CVD) is a risk for women, not just men? Are all women at the same risk as men for CVD?

Here’s the problem with this commercial. Premenopausal women are at a significantly lower risk for CVD than men, but after menopause a woman’s risk is roughly equal to a man’s risk. The average age of menopause is 50 years old. It is believed estrogen/progesterone have a protective benefit for young women.

This is where my frustration enters. The woman was 47 years old. First of all, she should not have had yearly mammograms (biannually mammograms for women 40-50 years old, then yearly after 50) and assuming she was premenopausal (based on her age) she was not at an increased risk for CVD.

If she was postmenopausal, she obviously had an early menopause and thus would have an increased risk. Her doctor should have informed her of this. Moreover, if she had started menopause, was she on hormone replacement therapy? Unopposed estrogen treatment is not protective against CVD and actually increases the risk of thrombo-embolic incidences, i.e. deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolisms, stroke and HEART ATTACK. Perhaps she was on estrogen and this caused her heart attack.

What about her family history? She is awfully young to have a fatal myocardial infarction (MI). What about any family members who may have had CVD or fatal MI’s? She could have been genetically predisposed to heart disease.

Was this woman a smoker? Smoking is the number one risk factor for coronary heart disease.

I understand the commercial was trying to illustrate women have CVD risks as well as men. However, these risks are generally reserved for women who are postmenopausal, have a positive family history of MI, a hypercoaguable disorder or prolonged oral contraceptive use. None of this was conveyed in the commercial and would have explained her sister's unfortunate and untimely death. This commercial was just used to scare women about their health and unfortunately the case presented is unusual and not necessarily applicable to a larger population.

As a side note, malignancies (cancer) recently passed CVD as the number one cause of mortality in the United States.

Commercial II
The voice over in a Special K commercial said, “There’s nothing more original…” As the jackass was saying that, there was a stupid cover of the song “Over the Rainbow.” It’s true. Nothing is as original as a crappy cover of a good song. It just annoyed me, but not as much as the heart disease commercial.

Last week in the Big Ten the good guys scored only 284 points, despite 52 from Michigan State and 41 from U of M. Chris is now 2-0, although neither of us was close last week. The competition stiffens this week for the Big Ten teams and the scoring will probably decrease somewhat. My prediction for total points (by all Big Ten teams) for week three is 302. What’s your prediction?

Dwarf Planets, Bush and the News

My residency applications have been mailed via the Internet to the respective programs. I’ve picked-up the pace with studying for the boards. And now I don’t feel as guilty writing a post while my mostaccioli bakes.

I see the Ohio State University ring tones have been replaced by the death of Steve Irwin links. The OSU ring tones originally replaced the stroke links at the top of this page. How does that work?

My other blog, Leave of Absence, was created to fill the void of DJ’s Greatest Novel sabbatical. Now DJ is in full blogging swing again and the Blog Alliance is doing well. Hence, Leave of Absence is done.

Chris did an excellent job predicting how many points would be scored in the Big Ten on the opening weekend of college football. The Spartans messed me up…they should have scored more than 27 points. Oh well. So, what are everyone’s picks for the total points scored in all eleven Big Ten games? I say 408.

Jacob, for the life of me I cannot find Paul Richie and the Crying Shame song “Come Back.” Now I was kinda drunk when we were listening to that so maybe I don’t have some things right, like the band name or the song title. How could I acquire this outstanding tune?

Visit the Humming Text Vessel at http://thehtv.googlepages.com/home.htm. Outstanding music.

I think Katie Couric is a poor journalist. I don't like her.

So I saw a commercial for the Butterfinger candy bar that has a chocolate-coated wafer. The girl in the commercial ate it, began having visual hallucinations and laughing as if she were stoned. I don’t want a candy bar that makes me stoned or gives me visual hallucinations…or do I? Nope, I just want the sugar.

Astronomers are real big geeks. The debate over Pluto as a planet is so ridiculously silly. I read one astrophysicist state the demotion of Pluto to a “dwarf-planet” was a triumph for science. Really? I think of scientific triumphs as something that will change or improve life, like the polio vaccine or MP3’s. The newspapers have had a lot of fun with this story too. I have read four different articles and all began with some sort of variation off of the innuendo, size does matter. The news outlets in this country can be really stupid.

Staying on the newspaper thoughts, I almost broke down and bought a subscription to the NY Times Select. I miss reading Maureen Dowd’s East Coast liberal elitism, Bob Herbert’s compassionate discussion of race and war, Paul Krugman’s economical rants and Nicholas Kristof’s rational political discussions. But, I can’t justify paying for them, when in the past I could read the Op/Ed section for free.

To keep a good transition here, I was reading the NY Times online (not the stuff that costs money) article about President Bush’s speech today. Maybe I am too cynical for a 26 y/o, but I have a lot of trouble with the timing of this speech. Bush wants military tribunals for terrorists at Guantanamo, so they can be brought to justice and the families of September 11th victims can finally have peace. Odd, the Bush administration has ignored several requests from the 9/11 Commission and at times has used smear campaigns against families who spoke ill of the GOP. With several news outlets indicating Republicans would lose the House and Senate if the mid-term elections were held now, Bush and his cronies reached for their trump cards, terrorism and 9/11. Bush’s shrewd politics are disgusting and it would be nice if his term were over now.

I cannot remember an end of August/beginning of September ever being this rainy.

My mostaccioli looks just about done, so I’m gonna stop writing and eat.

Crikey! Croc Hunter Killed by Stingray

Steve Irwin the loveable “crocodile hunter” was killed by a stingray while filming a documentary about aquatic life called “Ocean’s Deadliest.” He was 44 years old.

According to his documentary colleague, John Stainton, Mr. Irwin swam too close to a stingray and it struck him with its poisonous tail.

Stainton explained, “He came on top of the stingray and the stingray's barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart.”

Stingrays have a barb, or spine, that is loaded with a neurotoxin. Usually a stingray will sting a person when they accidentally step on it. The sting is very painful, but it is usually not fatal.

Shaun Collin, a marine neuroscientist at the University of Queensland, stated the stingray must have struck Irwin under his rib cage and pierced his heart.