The Trip

So, I have made the drive 4 times between Michigan and Texas. I can probably live my life without ever doing it again. My dad and I made it in 19 hours on the button. That is not too bad considering the ridiculous and almost traumatic experience in a Burger King in Arkansas.
Let me just tell you, if you are ever in Arkansas, for whatever reason, just leave. You will be much happier.

Driving through Memphis was fun. We saw a real life police chase on the highway. It was kind of funny. I was taking a break from driving. We saw two cops fly by us and two more enter the on ramp next to us. Then we saw 8 more all right up ahead of us. As we got to where they all finally stopped after I would say about 6 miles, we saw a Nissan XTerra with its doors open and police running through the field off of the expressway. The best part about it is that I joked to my dad that it couldn't be a real police chase unless there is a helicopter. Cops taught me that. Sure enough, a minute after I said that, a helicopter appeared. It becaume genuine.

It was a pretty uneventful drive other than that. We did manage to find some awesome classic rock stations. It is a good thing since iPods suck ass and CD's are too difficult to find when your vehicle is packed to capacity. Although I was a little tired of hearing Bad Company the old Aerosmith kept me going. Also sneaking in there was some Foreigner, Led Zeppelin, Heart, Sting, Rush, and Beatles. Surprisingly, there were no Styx or Eddie Money. AC/DC came through in Ohio.

I learned a few things from the trip. Arkansas is useless. My dad hates Credence. My vehicle's gas mileage sucks ass.

It's Hot Outside

I'm in my underwear right now and I am still sweating.

Jealous?

I'm Back!

Yo! It has been a long time.

I am back on The Blog Alliance and Mylifeafterpaintchips and other forms of electronic communications.

It has been a while, and I am sure I am a little rusty. If not rusty, I am sure I am a little cloudy after a very eventful and fun holiday weekend.

I have the internet at my house now, so I can blog to my little heart (or lackthereof)'s desire. Thanks Jeni for being my tech support.

Ahh, there are some stories from the Memorial Day weekend. The problem is that I do not remember a lot of them. It is because I am 1) Retarted, and 2) I drink too much.

Having friends is expensive, but fun.

Peace Out, but I am back!

Random Thoughts - The Flop Rule

I’m going to keep a stat in the next game. How many times Dwyane Wade drives into the lane and gets a foul? It was 6/6 in the fourth quarter of game three. Now the Pistons are playing the worst basketball they have played over the last three years, but last night after Chauncey Billups got the game to within one point, the refs took over; a no-call on Antonio McDyess dunk and then a weak call against him at the other end when the flop artist Wade drove to the hoop was a seven point swing and essentially deflated the Pistons comeback.

Speaking of flopping, the NBA should initiate a flop rule similar to the one that was done in the NHL. Players like Wade and Manu Ginobili have taken flopping to new heights and because no hard fouls are allowed in the NBA anymore (thanks to Michael Jordan), players are allowed to continue to do that. It’s killing the game for fans that like to see good basketball. I’m not a huge fan of needlessly aggressive basketball, but flopping kills me and a couple of hard fouls could put an end to that.

Bravo is playing the Top 100 comedy movies of all time. I think comedy is my favorite genre. Dumb and Dumber was number 75. Not too bad, it’s one of my favorites.

My apartment was 78 degrees and I had to turn the air-conditioner on for the first time. I don’t like to use the air, but I also don’t like to sweat while I sit on my couch.

This last Friday night turned into a classic rather quickly: a baseball game, an impromptu karaoke session and then a drive to Monroe to pick up some friends to go to the bar (sorry Kohler for the interruption).

Shin splints suck. Alliterations rule.

My cat broke one of my picture frames while I was gone yesterday. How do you punish a kitten? I told him that was bad, but all he did was purr. Next time I’m in trouble, I’m just gonna purr. It’s cute.

I’m still not sure what specialty I should pursue for my residency. I think I’m gonna leave it up to my friends to choose it. I’ll narrow it done to four or five and then have everyone vote on it. I think that’s a good way to choose what to do for the rest of my life.

Congrats to the Edmonton Oilers. As an eighth seed they made it to the Stanley Cup Finals. Shawn Horcoff is a key forward for the Oilers. He played at Michigan State with Brian Maloney. Brian Maloney is a dreamboat.

Shut Up. Before You Say Anything, Shut Up.

Gwen Stefani named her baby Kingston.

That is reason 132 to hate her.

Heat/Pistons: Keys to the Series

The Eastern Conference Finals begin on ESPN in roughly and hour and a half. To save you the trouble of having to listen to Bill Walton or Hubie Brown (the latter is a thousand times better than the former) I’ll give the keys to the series for the Pistons and the Heat.

(I know I said I wouldn’t comment on the Pistons anymore, but I lied. Lay off me, I’m starving.)

How the Heat win:
Offense:
1. The pick and pop with Antoine Walker or the screen in roll with Udonis Haslem.
The Cavs were extremely successful with isolating LeBron at the top of the key and then running either a pick and pop/screen and roll with their bigs. Dwayne Wade could easily do this and look for the Heat to go to it early and often.
2. Twenty points from Walker and Gary Payton.
Shaq, Wade and Haslem will get close to 70 points between them. Twenty more from Payton and Walker will put the Heat near 90 points and the Pistons will have trouble matching that every game.

Defense:
1. Hack-a-Piston.
The Pistons are a poor free throw shooting team. Cleveland began fouling the Pistons when they went in for easy lay-ups. Instead of the Pistons getting a three-point play, they were lucky to settle for one point.
2. Defend the perimeter.
This Detroit team, unlike last year's, will jack-up the three. If Miami doesn’t get out and guard them the Pistons can get 18-30 points from beyond the arc.


How the Pistons win:
Offense:
1. Ball movement and cuts.
When the Pistons struggle to score points it’s because they begin to get in their sets late in the shot clock and run too many isolations. Miami is not as fast as Detroit and the Pistons should be able to get Rip and Tayshaun into the lane frequently for easy buckets.
2. Offensive Rebounds and hustle points.
This has been the trademark of the Pistons for quite some time, but they sometimes forget this and begin to think they can out-finesse their opponent. Good defense will create easy offense and offensive rebounds almost always lead to easy buckets.

Defense:
1. Don’t let Walker and Payton get twenty points between them.
Payton may have trouble going against Chauncey Billups and Lindsey Hunter and Walker will most likely get frustrated and take bad shots because of Tayshaun’s defense.
2. Help side defense.
Wade will get into the lane many, many times in this series, but if Wallace, Wallace and McDyess can rotate and congest the lane they will not only limit Wade’s offense, but they may also get him into foul trouble.


Heat Unsung Key Player – Udonis Haslem
Pistons Unsung Key Player – Lindsey Hunter

Welcome Back Jon

Welcome back to Michigan Jon! It will be quite some time until the weather here resembles anything remotely close to Texas. Oh well, Texas doesn’t have Oberon.

Next weekend will be a good time, so no one better make any other plans. It will be a returning blast of epic proportions…er something.

It’s nice to have you back Jon!

It’s like you were saying…what were you saying?

Bye Bye Pistons

Ummm…the Pistons suck.

But, wait Andy, in your last post you wrote about why the Pistons weren’t in trouble and that Detroit would win the series.

Well a lot can change in one game. Also I was wrong; the Cavs have out-played and more importantly out-hustled Detroit in games four and five. (The refs did suck in game three, but that doesn’t matter now.)

The Pistons are the worst best team ever in the NBA and now they have become the biggest flop in NBA history.

What happened? Why are the Pistons so bad now? Here are the top six reasons.

1. Chauncey Billups is playing like old Chauncey; he’s taking bad shots and out of position defensively.
2. Rip Hamilton disappears during games and cannot guard LeBron.
3. Tayshaun is the only consistent player for the Pistons. He’s done nothing wrong.
4. Rosco (Rasheed) talks big and doesn’t back it up. He’s looked like a fat, slow and lazy ball player the last two games.
5. Ben Wallace has let Drew Gooden, Anderson Varejao and Zydrunas Illauskgus beat him. He’s defense is awful and if that’s the case he is useless because his offense is even worse.
6. Flip Saunders. There is a reason he never made it out of the second round with Minnesota. He cannot manage his bench or a game.

The Pistons wanted the best record in the NBA so they could have game seven at the Palace. The irony is they won’t get to use their home court for a game seven.
Detroit will lose on Friday at Quicken Loans Arena and have lost four straight to a team they should have swept.

The Pistons will have a long, long, long off-season to address their recent demise. Hopefully they have some good answers and can get back on the right track next year.

We are all Witnesses...to Stupid Comments

Okay ESPN and sports world. Let’s get some things straight about the Cavs/Pistons series.

1) The Cavs cannot beat the Pistons in a seven game series.
2) LeBron is not God and he did not play a good basketball game last night.
3) The Cavs have gotten some fairly generous calls in the last two games in Quicken Loans Arena.
4) The Pistons are NOT feeling the pressure of the Cavs.

Last night after an ugly 74-72 victory, King James stated, “We're not feeling the pressure. The Pistons are.”

Yes BronBron, I’m sure the Pistons are feeling pressure of the mighty Cavs. I know Detroit only won 64 games in the regular season to your team’s 50 wins. I know Detroit has only been to three straight Eastern Conference finals. I know they have only gone to two straight NBA Finals, including a championship in 2004. I know they only have four all-stars. I know this series is now tied at two, which is one more win than most analysts believed the Cavs would record.

This inexperienced Pistons group must be feeling the pressure. Especially returning home to the Palace where they thumped Cleveland in games one and two.

Sure Sheed’s guarantee did not come to fruition. But, it wasn’t because of King James, who was 8-23 from the field and 5-10 from the free throw line. LeBron only had five points in the second half (all in the fourth quarter). Oh yeah, the next Jordan also had four air balls and 8 of his teams 18 turnovers. Now those are impressive stats that should put the pressure on the two-time defending Eastern Conference Champs.

This was a stupid comment by a player that the NBA has decided must be the center of everything related to basketball. And Nike has run the most obnoxious add campaign in their obnoxious history with the “We are all witnesses” slogan. Well last night we were witnesses to an officiated game tailored for King James’ sloppy and poor play. That’s the stuff a true fan wants to witness.

Is LeBron a good player? No. He’s a great player. Has he been outstanding in this series? Hardly. And certainly his team is not putting the pressure back on the Pistons.

However, team cannot win when they score 13 points in a quarter, let alone the fourth quarter. A team cannot win when the bench can only muster seven total points. A team cannot win when they shoot 33% from the field. A team cannot win when their best post player goes 3-13 from the field for a measly seven points. And a team cannot win when the only score 72 points in a game. Sh*t I saw Okemos High School and Saginaw Arthur Hill score more points in the Michigan Class A Basketball State Championship game. A team cannot win when every possible call is called for LeBron James and his team.

But are the Pistons feeling pressure, like the new God of the NBA stated? Let’s ask Sheed.

"I ain't worried about these cats. There's no way in hell they beat us in a series. They played well. I give them credit. We lost. We shot 30 percent and they had to play their best to beat us."

Now that’s a more accurate statement than BronBron’s.

Mexican Flack Dance

The country is in ruins. We are fighting a losing battle in Iraq. Oil prices are ridiculous. The vice-president got all drunk and shot a mutha f&$%@ in the face a few months ago. Jobs are being shipped over seas, while domestic unemployment (not to mention under-employment) remains an epidemic. The gap between the rich and the poor is widening. Corruption in Washington DC has become so prevalent it is now the accepted norm. The bird flu and hurricanes attack without mercy. Terrorism is still a constant threat. Rosie O'Donnell is going to join the cast of The View. Things are bad.

This is all obviously the work of those diabolical Mexicans.

New Adventures in Low-Brow

OJ Simpson might be the worst person to ever live.

The footballer turned pitchman turned double murdering asshole has followed Ashton Kutcher's lead and taken to filmed tomfoolery.

"Juiced" which will air on Pay-Per-View this month features Simpson in hilarious situations including dressing up like Elvis, selling oranges dressed as a homeless person, and--

Wait. I want you to read this very slowly.

Selling his white Ford Bronco at a used car lot. Ha. Ha. He tells prospective buyers that he, "made the car famous," and that the car was, "good for me--it helped me get away."

Get it? It's funny because it reminds us all of that hi-friggin-larious time that he killed the mother of his children and some man he never met.

Kudos to you Juice. I hope you really enjoy Hell.

Johnny Cool Pants and the Basketball Game

This blog is worthy of posting on both Leave of Absence and the Blog Alliance.

I went to play basketball today with Dustin and two of his friends. We ended up at the new community center in Flat Rock, which is very nice and not too expensive either. I recommend playing there for anyone in the southeastern Michigan area.

As we walked on to the court Johnny Cool Pants (that wasn’t his name, but it is now for confidentiality purposes) asked if Dustin, Al, Jackson and I wanted to run fours. “Our four versus your four,” Cool Pants explained. “Okay,” we all replied. Interestingly, the Cool Pants’ four consisted of his younger eleven year old brother.

Guess who got to guard him? Yeah, me. How do you guard an eleven year old? I’m not gonna post up the little tyke of offense and I’m sure not gonna block his shots on D.

Things went okay in the first game. Cool Pants’ team won 12-10. I played well in game one. We were down 6-2 and then went on an 8-3 run. I had 3 points and 2 assists in that stretch. Not bad, I was feeling good. (The eleven year old wasn’t guarding me, Cool Pants came out on me for the most part).

Game two was a lot different. I played well. Five points and a couple of dimes and we destroyed Cool Pants, 12-4. During this game the young Cool Pants (eleven year old) was yelling, “You suck!” every time anyone on our team shot the ball. He was also elbowing me and punching me while I was just standing around.

The game ended on a lay-up by me and I felt a little something in my kidney region as I jumped. I thought, “Damn, what was that?” I turned and looked and it was the young Cool Pants. He had tried to give me a kidney shot Zeithlow style.

I turned and look at him and in a very pleasant tone (I remembered I used to like to play with my cousin’s older friends, so I could sympathize with his frustration), “Hey dude, I know I’m bigger than you, but don’t punch me in the back.”

I was standing around in between games when I heard, “Hey mother f**ker! Yeah you in the yellow.” (I was wearing a yellow shirt). “You feel big talking sh*t to an eleven year old? You gonna swear at my little brother. (At this point Johnny Cool Pants was in my face, perhaps five inches away). Look at him he’s in tears because you swore at him. You got a f**king problem?”

I have several f**king problems, but I doubt he was interested in them so I calmly replied, “I didn’t swear at your younger brother. I told him not to punch me when I went up for a lay-up.”

“That’s not what he f**king says,” Cool Pants said as he stared me down.

“Well, that’s what happened,” I replied, now somewhat scared that this dude was actually gonna kick my ass. I know I’ve put on a lot of weight since my high school days, but I’m still the same ole pansy.

Cool Pants stared at me some more and then said, “Whatever.” “F**K!” Cool Pants then exclaimed as he turned and walked away.

Cool Pants tried waiting around until our team lost again and he could get in my face. But, our team didn’t lose again. I played awful in the next four games. I think Cool Pants had gotten in my head. When I realized that’s probably why I was playing so poorly I got even more upset at myself, because I let that dirty douche get to me.

Johnny Cool Pants obviously proved his penis is much larger than mine. I guess next time if I’m gonna get threatened by an American Badass I might as well beat the sh*t out of his little brother.

Yep, I think that’s what I’ll do. Watch out eleven year olds.

Spartan Basketball Recruiting Update

The new Rivals.com Class of 2007 basketball recruiting rankings was released today. If you are a fan of Tom Izzo and the Michigan State men’s basketball team, you will be happy with the Spartans future.

Kalin Lucas gained five-star blue-chip status and moved up from the number 28 player in the nation to number thirteen. Lucas is currently the highest-rated player from the talent rich state of Michigan.

Chris Allen, an outstanding shooting guard from Georgia, jumped from number 84 to number 22 in the rankings and also earned a five-star status. Allen has been a State fan his whole life and has spent the summers in Lansing with an aunt so he could check out Michigan State.

Durrell Summers, MSU’s third commit for the Class of 2007, fell from number thirteen to number 28 and lost his five star status (he is now a four star recruit). Summers was injured at the recent AAU tournament Speice ‘N’ Run last weekend, but his rating will go back up to elite status by the end of the summer. He has the body of a NBA two guard and athleticism unparralled in the class of 2007.

The Saginaw Arthur Hill standout, Darquavis Tucker, stated he was still interested in the Spartans, but is awaiting an offer. Most recruiting analysts do not believe State will sign another wing, but Izzo and Michigan State would be wise to take advantage of Tucker’s talent and winning attitude. Dar jumped from 49 to number 36 in the new Rivals.com rankings.

The Class of 2008 is shaping up well for MSU too. Anthony “Noopy” Crater, an explosive point guard out of Flint Southwestern has stated he would like to play at MSU. Draymond Green, a 6’6’’ versatile power forward out of Saginaw High, has also stated he would commit to MSU if offered. Green was considered to be the top performer at Speice last weekend as only a sophomore in high school.

Allen, Lucas and Summers may all be Top 25 players by the time the final recruiting rankings are released. These three guards along with the top two players in Michigan for the class of 2008 have the Spartans gearing up for more Final Four runs and perhaps a national championship.

She's Having a Baby One More Time...

Britney Spears confirmed last night on Letterman that she is once again with child. For those who keep tabs on this sort of thing that makes four mini K-Feds (that we know about).

Take that Darwin.

No word yet on exactly how the white trashiest couple of all-time plans on scarring this child for life. I'm betting on either a horrible rap song dedicated to the impending bundle of.... whatever or perhaps an endorsement deal selling Jack Daniel's baby formula.

This is all going to make for a really good episode of Maury in a few years.

Top Five Candies

I’m still trying to finish of my Easter candy. Did Jesus eat candy on the cross? Is that why the Easter Bunny gives out candy on Easter?

Anyhoo, as I ate my Willy Wonka Bottle Caps I started to think about what my favorite candies are. So here were my top five candies. (I’m including candy bars, which could be a category of their own. However, I’ve excluded bubble gum from this list).

5. Boston Baked Beans – I’m a big fan of peanuts…just ask Chris. These chocolate covered peanuts are coated with loads of sugar and have a unique flavor. It was one of my favorite candies to buy at Clark’s Market (along with a 16 oz bottle, that’s right a bottle, of Mountain Dew).

4. Gummy Worms – these are just totally awesome. In general all gummy candies are great, except gummy bears, which were forged in Satan’s candy factory. I would put the Spiderman sour gummies here, but they haven’t been around long enough and I can’t find them anywhere. So Spiderman gets the snub for the classic gummy worms.

3. Snickers – the best candy bar. Sure, Twix is two times as fun, but that also equals twice the cavities. Snickers have the peanuts (I like peanuts), caramel and a fantastic nuget. If you feel like increasing your risk for diabetes have a Snickers with a soda. I recommend a Mountain Dew.

2. Johnny Apple Seed/Alexander the Grape/Lemonheads – how did these candies get so high on my list? Well, simply because they are sugary treats. There may be a slight nostalgic factor in their placement on my list, because they were only 25 cents at Clark’s Market. I would regularly get two Lemonheads and then one Alexander the Grape and Johnny Apple Seed. All that for only one dollar! Take that 1-800-COLLECT!

1. Peanut M & M’s – did I mention I love peanuts? One time I kept eating peanuts even though they tasted weird. Turns out they were rotten peanuts and my body had to evacuate the toxins via vomiting. Oh the memories. I never vomited while eating Peanut M & M’s…wait yes I have. The stomach flu (gastroenteritis) was going around the Zillgitt household during the 1999 Final Four weekend. My parents called to inform me that they and my sister had had a nasty bout of vomiting on Sunday and Monday, and to make matters worse they had video evidence, via Molly Leask (now Tyner), of me running in the Naked Mile. However, Monday evening I was throwing up Peanut M & M’s and Faygo Red Pop so I couldn’t have been naked in Ann Arbor. I couldn’t eat Peanut M & M’s for quite sometime after that experience. But, separation makes the heart grow fonder and now I love to have Peanut M & M’s just about every day for a snack. Is that healthy? Probably not, but it ain’t too bad either, so back off.

Many other candies could have made this list. Bottle Caps, Runts, Sour Patch Kids, etc. But, right now these are my top five. Candy is great. What are your favorite candies?

I've Lost My Mantra

I think I can safely say that the world has never made less sense to me. I have the feeling that something big is about to happen for me or to me or about me or something. I'm not sure what, but something very strange is afoot.

When I know, you'll know.

Eff It! I Quit! Who Cares?!

First of all, props to Andy for his last post. I was going to write a similar post earlier, but I am glad I didn't now. AZ did a much better job that I would have.

Now, down to the real business at hand.

I played basketball for real today for the first time. I screwed around in a game on Thursday just to test out the ankle and foot. Although I was scared, it felt pretty darn good. Today, I went all out. It felt solid and strong. It held up through the first hour. Going into the fourth game, something happened. Nope, it wasn't my ankle. It was my groin. I pulled the shit out of it. Either that or I have a hernia, I don't know the difference. I wish AZ were here to examine me and tell me everything will be ok. (ha ha) Regardless, I can walk ok, but anything lateral doesn't work so good. It is painful. I have been icing my groin for a few hours. Needless to say, some neighboring parts of my anatomy are not really happy with that.

So, here is the thing. I try to exercise. I try to work out. I try I try I try. It hurts like hell. For what? The person that I want to like me probably isn't going to regardless of whether I am in better or worse shape. So, what is the point?

I quit! I realize that letting myself go more than I already do will diminish my chances of having someone attractive in my life. I am ready to accept that. Maybe there are still a few crazy girls out there that would like to be with a fat kid. I will look, but not too hard. I won't hold my breath, because I need oxygen. So, attention chubby girls of East Lansing and around the country. Don't worry about those freshman 15, or any of those other pounds that you have been carrying since 6th grade. I'm yours. Maybe I can find one with some "inner beauty", whatever that is.

On a better note, the Pistons looked unstoppable, even after a slow start. Poor Bron Bron. He is going to become acclimated with hanging his head in disgust after the game. They look like they aren't even trying to be competitive. The court is a playground, and Tay Tay is our ringer.

Hello ABC, Nice to Meet You

The Pistons haven’t gotten any of the primetime spotlight other teams have thus far in the 2006 Playoffs.

Never mind that Detroit has been to the last two NBA Finals, winning it all in 2004 and then taking the Spurs to game seven last year. Forget that the Pistons have been to three straight Eastern Conference Finals. Pay no attention to the 64-18 regular season record. And please don’t mention the four all-stars from this year.

None of that warrants primetime coverage. Apparently being LeBron James and averaging 35.7 points/game against the worse defensive team in the playoffs (Washington Wizards) is what primetime is all about. Interesting in that series, BronBron traveled (a travel that could have even been called by NBA standards) to hit a game winning shot in game five. Then in game six an obvious basket interference wasn’t called, which would haven given the Wizards a two point lead late in regulation.

Are the Jordan rules being adapted now for King James? Why is Detroit still not respected as a basketball team? If Detroit were playing the Wizards, the Pistons would be lucky to be covered on FSN Detroit.

Other thoughts:
Manu Ginobili and Bruce Bowen hand check and foul on defense almost every time down the court. Watch them away from the ball. Bowen is dirty and Ginobili holds the jersey so the other player cannot come off screens. The officials need to start calling these obvious fouls.

Tim Duncan kind of looks like Chief Wiggum, or at least a relative of Clancy.

Hubie Brown is one of the best color-men in all of sports, but sometimes he sides with the officials even when the calls are poor ones. I remember watching him as a coach and seeing him complain to the officials often. Why the change of heart now?

Thank goodness Al Michaels isn’t doing the play-by-play. Last year he was lost and relied on Hubie to bail him out all the time.

I’ve already used this quote in two other posts, but it’s awesome, so here it is again.
"I'm not going to start the game by cracking a cat in the skull if I don't get elbowed first.”

First Random Thoughts with TBA

Sure I have to study. Sure I have to finish my schizophrenia presentation and case report. Whatever, the physician directing these presentations didn’t even tell me I had to do this; a friend called me and asked how I would do it. I was like, “Wha, wha, wha, what presentation?”

I just got done eating four bowls of cereal. I had two of Count Chocula, one Crunch Berries and one Frosted Mini Wheats. It got me thinking. When I have my restaurant (with JC), I’m going to suggest having a cereal bar lined with 50 or so cereals. A customer will pay five dollars and get unlimited access to great cereal and maybe some sort of juice could be included in the breakfast.

I made a CD the other day that is one of the best compilations I have made in awhile. Making CD’s has become passé, but I still like it. The artists on this disc included Sloan, the Super Friendz, Moods for Moderns, the High Strung, the Detroit Cobras, Dave Carducci, the Raconteurs…it has a very good arrangement and I always follow the High Fidelity rules.

So the second round of the NBA Playoffs starts today. How’d I do in my first round predictions? Good question.

Prediction: Pistons in five. Real life: Pistons in five
Prediction: Cavs in seven Real life: Cavs in six (questionable officiating)
Predication: Nets in four Real life: Nets in six
Prediction: Heat in six Real life: Heat in six

Prediction: Spurs in four Real life: Spurs in six
Prediction: Mavs in four/five Real life: Mavs in four
Prediction: Clips in six Real life: Clips in five
Prediction: Suns in six/seven Real life: Suns in seven

You know how it feels when you work really hard and then there are lackluster results or nothing happens? That’s kind of how I feel about the current political situation in this country. I have complained so much and gotten so worked-up over how awful President Bush and his administration have been that I’m out of energy now and I just don’t care. He’s a douche, I can’t say anymore. Plus, since the NY Times online went to the stupid “Times Select” I haven’t kept up on the news. That happened in September and for being the news of record they sure aren’t very good at allowing everyone equal access. F**king liberal elites.

JC returns in t minus thirteen days…I guess this is the rapture…but I hope not, I hope it is just a good ole drinking bash. Maybe he can make wine out of water, or perhaps Pacifico out of water.

Word Cotton.

Derby Time.

Coming up is the Kentucky Derby. I don't know why this is appealing, but I always get into it. I remember last year, we were all at Lou & Harry's in East Lansing. We all picked our horses and it was a damn exciting 2 minutes. Everyone was screaming for their horse. Whether it was sarcastic mockery or the fact that there was nothing else of general interest to focus on, it was good times.

I don't listen to the commentaries. I don't care about the odds. I pick my horsey during the introductions, just by looking at them. Last year, I was horribly wrong. Whatever, I was having fun.

So, grab your $1,000 mint julep and cozy up next to the TV and prepare yourself for the excitement. I will edit and make my pick during the introductions.


The walkover has begun. It is my time to pick my horsey. I like Sweetnorthernsaint and Brother Derek. If I have to pick one, I am going with Sweernorthernsaint.

GO SWEETNORTHERNSAINT!!!!!!!!!


EDIT #2: My horse blew ASS!!!! Right before the start it was announced that he was a late money favorite. He moved up from 10-1 odds to become the favorite at 5-1. That excited me, since that is who I just had picked. It doesn't freaking matter though, because like I said....My horse blew ass!!!

Sweetnorthernsaint was 12th at the 1st turn. He moved up to 4th at the 3/4 mile mark, but then fell to finish 7th. Barbaro won and remained undefeated at 6-0. I suck at this!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!

Ahh, Cinco de Mayo. One of the most under-rated American holidays ever. Wha wha wha what?????? JC, Cinco de Mayo is a celebration of Mexican independence. That is what everyoe will tell me my friends. Everyone is right, technically.

I have been celebrating Cinco de Mayo ever since college began. It was a great excuse to drink Corona (at the time) before I discovered the splendor that is Pacifico. My fondest memory was in my Junior year, showing up at Charles St. with two cases of Coronas. I think it was like 11:00 in the morning. I can not recall.

Afer a year of living in Dallas, which is a hell of a lot closer to Mexico than Michigan is, I have learned a lot about it. I have had to endure endless commentary, reports, and protest coverage of all of the new immigration bills. I had to watch endless news coverage of all of the kids skipping school in Dallas to march to city hall in protest of policy against illegal immigrants. It was ridicuolous, not in principle, but in execution. You had thousands of jack-ass kids who had no idea what was going on running around to skip school, carrying Mexican flags. It was odd and...well just odd.

It is in the spirit of that, that I will call Cinco de Mayo a great American holiday. If I pissed you off or offended you, please let me know, so I can arrange time for you to come and kiss my ass. Just kidding. I will buy a finely crafted Pacifico to anyone who has a problem with my dry sense of humor. Thank God no one reads this!!

Celebrate responsibly, but most importantly celebrate. Afterall, America is the new Mexico. (But not New Mexico)


EDIT: And the best Cinco de Mayo drunken text message goes to............DV - "Pirate mode drunk. Got to celebrate my Mexican roots. Booyah!" 3:15AM - Central.

Sonofabitch

I just lost all of my songs on my iPod. 9900 songs gone. Down the drain. I reinstalled iTunes on my laptop after it crashed and I am an idiot and apparently did something wrong.

I am sobbing, literally. Make fun of me, if you want, but know I think you are an ass hole if you are. It takes a hell of a lot of time to put everything on there. I don't have a hell of a lot of time.

Damnit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Technology is failing me. I shall revert to the use of cassette audio tapes. I think I still have some Poison and Boys II Men tapes around somewhere.

Remember Me?

I haven't posted in a while. Call it laziness, call it lack of inspiration.

My new job is awesome, as most new jobs are. Everyday something new happens, and I'm not stuck inside all day. It's great.

Today in the paper there was a letter to the editor from a 75 year old man who said he had been a Republican his whole life, but because of the current state of the country he is no longer affiliated with that party. Take from that what you will, but it tells me that Foxy McLovesBush (Tony Snow) has a tough job ahead.

Tomorrow is Quatro de Mayo. Areeba! Areeba!

I'm not sure, but I do believe that today was the nicest day ever.

The Red Wings are terrible and Manny Legace is not a real goalie.

The Tigers will make it to the World Series this year, but they will lose to the Reds.

McWorld!

I am a Moron.....In Other News, I Have No Willpower!!

It is 14 days until my dad comes down here to visit and help me move back to Michigan. My goal was to eat all of my groceries in my house, so I don't have to throw anything away or move more stuff. I did, however, need to go to the store to get some essentials such as cereal, yogurt, and milk.

Guess what? I spent $50 at Kroger, and I am moving in two weeks. I just am so programmed to buy certain things that are on sale and whatnot. How the hell am I going to eat all of the stuff I got in two weeks? Damnit!

This is besides the fact that I am trying to be healthier, since I haven't been able to be on any kind of real exercise routing in 6 weeks or so. Guess what again?

I have no willpower. My $50 in groceries was not all healthy foods (by ANY stretch of the imagination!). I wanted to do what I could to try to get sexy soon for my return to Michigan. I just want a girl to like me. (I sound so desperate, It really isn't that bad). I hate throwing away money, but I seem to do it so often. With that in mind, I hate throwing money away in the form of food even more. It is something ingrained in my genes.

Damn. What a conundrum. I guess I should go and get eating.

The Happy Birthdays Continue

Today is May 2nd. I am sure you knew that because if nothing else, the hearer told you. It is two days after my birthday. That means a few things. I am two days older than I was on my birthday, and there are other birthdays to be celebrated.

Happy Birthday goes out to the anyonymous-c - Chris Merritt. The last time I talked to him, he had exams nestled on and around his birthday. I hope that is going well for him. Soon it will be over and I will be there, expecting you to drink $1.50 Guiness (or other beer of choice) during happy hour in your own backyard (not literally, unless you want to).

Next up is my little sister. Happy Birthday to you. I hope you had a pleasant time in Michigan this past week. I am sure it will be nice to get back to the hubby in the S.C. though.

I don't know why, but Happy Birthday to Rachelle's neice Kiera. I just remembered because it falls on this very day.

It is a good day. There is the aftermath of the Red Wings, or should I say Manny Legacy's failure. (Thats not very good, but like I said before, at least the Stars bowed out as well.) The Tigers are on a roll, after almost blowing last night's game. The Pistons pulled out a sloppy one, giving them a 3-1 advantage. The Lions still do not have Matt Leinart. I thought I was dreaming. How could you pass on that guy?

Enough about sports. It is thunderstorming outside. I like it. T-minus 18 days until my arrival.

Oh Hockey! Where Have You Been?

Ken Daniels: Oh look at this. It’s a two on one.

Mickey Redmond: Oh boy.

Ken Daniels: Draper to Maltby. Oh! And he can’t get it up.

Is this a hockey game or a really bad porn?

Let’s all have a ginger-ale for Mickey. Go Wings!