From the desk of the Alliance's breaking news department:
Britney Spears has filed for divorce from the one and only K-Fed. The washed-up, used-up, just plain hit-up former pop-tartlet, cited irreconcilable differences. This was done only because realizing you married a f*cking loser is not a valid reason for divorce.
The Britster is seeking full legal and physical custody of both children. This shouldn't be a problem, since she was the breadwinner. The pseudo-rapper just released his highly criticized album, and just announced a book deal. He was planning on having a book penned about his life before Spears, in an attempt to shed some light on why he shouldn't be referred to as "Mr. Britney Spears".
In a surprising turn of events, he has already landed a second book deal. It is a work in progress of his life after Spears. He is planning on chronicling how he intends to continue spending Britney's money after the divorce settlement.
That is a joke, since it is rumored that Spears had a rock-solid prenup. She is going to waive spousal support and even go as far as asking the judge to make each party pay their own respective attorney's fees. Looks like K-Fed Efed up.
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5 comments:
what's sad about it is that he didn't even know that she was filing for divorce until after she did it. it seems like that might be something that you discuss a few times as a couple before you go ahead with it. but then again, i've never been divorced so maybe it's always a surprise.
hooray for the sanctity of marriage!
I saw a video online of K-FED receiving the news via text message. Apparently he was being followed around that day by a camera crew from Much Music. He looked downtrodden and left for about a half hour to tend to the issue. Then he came back visably upset.
I'm not an expert, but a text-message divorce, that's got to be a first.
for sure. but texting seems to be the way everyone will converse in the future.
i never liked britney, and i don't know k-fed. both seem trashy though
That is a new one, I thought the sex and the city post it break up was bad. Way to go Brittney on finding a better way to deliver bad news.
At least he can use the divorce as an excuse to cancel shows that have had poor ticket sales.
something tells me that the text was probably not from Britney, but rather a close confidante or his lawyer. They probably texted him about it because he was with Much Music all day. Either way it's pretty sad and sick though.
i saw that video as well, and also part of the interview that he was giving at the same time that he was unknowingly being filed against. he was talking about how she supports him and how she's been great about his record and stuff. whoopsidaisy.
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