Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Cherubs with Uzzis and Dislocated Shoulders

I’m so sorry. So sorry. I’m so terribly, terribly sorry.

That’s right I like that Youth Group song. Is that wrong? Maybe, but I like sappy pop music sometimes. Back off.

Many of my last several posts have just been mini-Wednesday posts.

That was a pointless sentence.

Is anyone else as sick of Dwyane Wade and the Miami Heat as I am? ESPN loves them because they create the best drama. Shaq doesn’t play half the year because he is old and fat. Then when he comes back everyone talks about how great he is, but he can only score when his fat old ass fouls first. Then Wade gets injured with a dislocated shoulder and the media treats it as if his arm fell off. Hey Drew Stanton separated his shoulder, a far more ominous injury, and came back – thanks to a little osteopathic manipulative management – after three weeks. Usually that injury requires surgery. A dislocated shoulder is popped back into place on the spot. Happens all the time in football. Pat Riley leaves and then comes back and now looks excited about coaching again. The Heat were on the verge of not making the playoffs and now they are a three seed. They annoy me. I hate soap operas. I don’t care for Riley or Wade. But I do like Shaq. Regardless the Heat piss me off and annoy me to no end.

Speaking of shoulder dislocations. Here is a little trivia. The most common dislocation is in an anterior/inferior direction. However, posterior dislocations are seen in individuals who have been electrocuted. Ouch.

Happy Birthday Jeff. A belated blogging Happy Birthday to my Dad. The spring birthday blitz is officially upon us. Awesome.

The “Thad Five” seem to be following the same path as the “Fab Five.” Both teams loaded with freshman talent made it to the championship game only to get blown out by an experienced veteran team. The Ohio State lost to a junior/senior group at Florida and Michigan lost to a Duke team who was the last team to repeat until the Gators did it this year. I imagine the “Thad Five” will continue along the same path and eventually the Buckeye basketball program will be on probation.

I often discuss psych issues and write about how medications are over-used or are just more harmful than helpful. The New York Times ran an article earlier this week about how depression may be over-diagnosed by up to 25%. That’s nuts, especially considering many of those over-diagnosed patients will be put on anti-depressants and be subjected to all of their side-effects. It was an interesting article, I have not read the study closely yet, but maybe I will ramble about that later.

Should I get my haircut? I think I will.

My cat, Ozkar, has fallen into the toilet twice now.

I would appreciate it if Mother Nature could get it right. Kurt Cobain said it best, “Mother Nature is a whore.” And we all know how I feel about whores. I love them. No, I hate them.

I do that joke too much.

There is a car dealership I pass on my run almost everyday. He has a sign out front that I assume he is trying to use for inspirational quotes that usually have a religious tone. For example, “If you are too busy for God, then you are too busy.” And, “Love is nothing but the footprint of an angel.” “Those who fear guns, fear freedom.” That one wasn’t too religious. Yesterday was a little different as well. It read, “Don’t get stuck in stupid.” This jackass used car salesman seems to be stuck in stupid. I would like to kick him and leave a footprint and then tell him I’m a cherub who carries an Uzzi because I love freedom and God.

I told you all this would be long. I guess I didn’t warn you it was gonna be pointless too.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

i like shaq too. he's funny.
if jesus had an uzi do you think he would have settled for crucifixion?

by the by, uzzi is a "biblical name meaning 'the Lord is my strength,'" (wikipedia.org).
i'm not sure if you meant the pun or not...but if you did, it was brilliant.

Anonymous said...

the gun is spelled uzi. i only know that because i have 20 of them under my bed which i use for the occasional target practice and gang banging.

Anonymous said...

how reliable is that 25% misdiagnosis regarding depression? how do we know that the person surveyed didn't just get laid one night, then after the survey he got depressed again b/c the girl didn't call? i'm just saying, alot of people are so up and down, they may have been caught on any up day. or maybe they are schizophrenic.