It’s been well documented that I only date girls whose first name begins with the letter ‘J.’ Moreover, if a female’s first name is Jennifer there is a high probability I’ll date you if you show even the slightest interest in me. That’s how I roll.
Because every day I become slightly more introverted and isolated here in the Dotte, I check out MySpace more frequently hoping that someone has blogged or done something interesting/funny. And now because I’m “single” I’ve been getting lots of friend requests from other “singles.”
Today I received a friend request from a 25 y/o Jennifer living in Toledo, Ohio. On Jennifer’s profile, she politely explained she is a “cam model.” A cam model is someone who does adult shows in the privacy of their own home. But don’t think Jennifer is an escort or a hooker. She only does this stuff on-line and won’t meet in person…unless she really likes you.
How sweet: an adult entertainer with morals. I was interested so I read whom she’d like to meet.
Jennifer stated she would like to meet, “Guys who know how to have fun online and off and that aren't cheapskates or assholes.” She also added, “Just admit it…you know you want me.”
I love confidence in a woman and her name is Jennifer, but sorry I’m nearing $100,000 in debt and I’m a self-centered jerk. That’s two strikes against me and we haven’t even met in person. Who knows, you may not like me enough to do that anyway.
I really thought we could have a successful MySpace relationship, but alas I don’t fit into your rubric for guys you’d like to meet. Thanks for the friend request, but I’ll have to decline.
Good luck with other MySpace relationships, I’m sure there are some non-cheapskate non-assholes who have pimped their page just for you.
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